TESTING, TESTING

Out the blue, Tyler has found a new way to enter my classroom. It's fabulous. It started a few weeks ago whereby he began walking in, and right off the bat, started saying to me... TANGERINES, APPLES, GRAPEFRUITS, PEARS. Then, upon hearing this, I merely replied... uh... STRAWBERRIES, PLUMS, ORANGES, PEACHES. It took me but a half second to realize he was listing types of fruit. Little did I know, however, he was in fact, TESTING me.

Apparently, the test is such that I'm supposed to figure out the relationship of all he's including on his imaginative lists. I have to tell you... I found this to be a FABulous way to come to class, let alone a creative way! Tyler now does this everyday, and I've grown to love it to no end. And... being a real live college graduate, I also normally pass his tests.

Well, until last week, anyway. Which was when I met my first failure. For the life of me, I can't remember the exact opening list for that day, but it was along the lines of... SUN, FIRE, FLASHLIGHT. Something like that. I thought and thought yet within moments I told Tyler: OKAY, I GIVE. Turns out I couldn't figure out where he was going with this particular list. However, I'm sure YOU can. What a dunce I was. The puzzle's solution?? THINGS THAT GIVE US LIGHT. Duh.

Give me the job of teaching reading. Boom. I'm a whiz. Give me the job of figuring out brain twisters. Bam. I'm a loser. Geez.... a 13 year old has me beat?? Apparently so.

Which reminds me... for an hour a day, my classroom is used by a colleague to teach remedial math to 6th graders. One day, I picked up their text book and started flipping through it. EEEKS. I WAS LOST FROM PAGE ONE. Well, okay. From page five, maybe. But, the point is: there is NO way I can apparently pass 6th grade math!! Thank GOD I'm out of Middle School. I'd need catch up tutoring in a FLASH. My first thought was to enter the class one day and simply announce to the students: F--- ALL THIS, KIDDIES. I'VE BEEN FUNCTIONING SUPREMELY WELL FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND HAVE NEVER YET NEEDED THIS CRAPOLA INFORMATION. Except of course unless I wanted to graduate high school.

Thus if I can't figure out 6th grade math, how in the world can I possibly solve Tyler's puzzles?? These students are obviously WAY brighter than I am. On the other hand, I bet I can a decorate a home MUCH better than they can. Except for Sanford, maybe. Personally, I think he's got a good shot at a bright future in interior designs.