BECOMING SOCIAL

Oh man... I so can't believe this. It happened last week. Sitting down?? I applied for Social Security benefits!!! EEEEEEEKS. Therefore, in case any one should be in doubt, there can now be no question whatsoever... I'M OLD. Whoa. Not elderly... but old, for sure. Oh yeah... and in case anyone wonders what old and/or Social Security applicants look like... there it is. In that picture you see of me.

Of course, with all the crap going on in Washington, I have no clue just how LONG Social Security will be doling out this pittance of a payment to me, but I'm so keeping my fingers crossed. I can't figure out what I can actually pay with the baby amount of money I'm getting, but at the very least, I can either pay for electricity, cable and cell phone OR I can pay my monthly dues at the Country Club. Hmmm... there's a trade off if ever there was. And... get this. The representative from the Social Security office... GUESS WHAT HIS NAME WAS. Jerry Mathers!!! OMG... The Beaver is handling my case?? Which actually is kinda funny given The Beave was eligible for his own benefits JUST THIS MONTH.

I was talking to a friend the other day, questioning the possibility of whether or not our combined benefits would even be enough to live on. Man, am I ever in trouble. I was told no... combining would not be enough, thus can you imagine what it's going to be like if I have to live off Social Security only?? Ain't never going to happen. Heads' up to all my relatives and friends: I just may be moving in. I know... you're tickled pink, right??

Regardless, all I can say is: this was a day of infamy, if you ask me. On the other hand, neither my brother nor my best girlfriend even lived long enough to become old, so maybe applying for Social Security isn't so bad, afterall. Besides, what I'm REALLY looking forward to?? APPLYING FOR MEDICARE!! Which I also hope will be around when I'm eligible, since that too, is kinda iffy.

WORD 2099

Talk about back to the future. I am so telling you... my head is SPINNING from trying to learn Word 2007. And remember... I AM pretty damn computer/word processing literate. But THIS??? Man, they're out to kill me, here.

As it happens, I bought my newest computer in July of 2008. And, it came with Word 2003. Perfect. I had that down pat from the get go. Was way easy to deal with and I made friends with the software lickety split. However... just yesterday Mitch installed Word 2007. OMG... THIS IS NUTS. It is sooo not for people my age! Seriously, it's got to be what Word will be like in 2099! Oh yeah... and for those of you out there who will actually BE around when that version comes out... GOOD LUCK IS ALL I CAN SAY. You'll need it, trust me! On the other hand, it certainly can't be much more challenging than what 2007's version is.

Anyway, today I opened Word and was going to kinda toy around with it. See what it will and won't do type of thing. Forget it. Who knows what it will/will not do?? I can't even figure out the tool bars!! Who the hell can even create something?? It's so confusing, I can't believe the compu-world isn't up at arms. Am I the ONLY one ready to shoot myself over this?? Uh... apparently so.

A friend of mine emailed me with how they too, in the beginning, was about ready to go off the deep end, but instead, they opted for the hordes of Word tutorials on the web. So okay. I Google the tutorials. Of which there were zillions. Sure enough, there are plenty to choose from but what I REALLY wanted was a downloadable instruction manual so I could READ what I needed to learn. At my own leisure, if you catch my drift. NOTHING. I found absolutely zilch as far as locating something that I could print out. Which means: I'll be sitting at my computer reading the tutorials... not to mention the Table of Contents, alone... from now until next year. IT'S CRAZY. By the way, NEWS FLASH: friend now learned to ADORE Word 2007.

Regardless... for anyone who is only MILDY computer savvy.... heads' up, folks. YOU'RE SO OUT OF LUCK. There is no way you'll ever possibly grasp Word 2007. (I'm just filled with good news, aren't I??) Seriously though... you WILL go nuts. I actually had to Google just to find out HOW TO INSERT PAGE NUMBERS. Can you imagine??

So... hooray for all you folks who be here to see the launch of Word 2099 since by then you'll probably be able to merely speak your document into a computer. For those of us, however who are only here for another ten years, let's say... WE'RE DOOMED. Well, at least I am, anyway. NOW I have to Google: word processors for Mac. Something's telling me I'll need one. And fast. Don't even get me started on Power Point.

FINALLY

Man oh man... I can not beLIEVE how I have now finally got my blog software up and running once again! It has been AGES. Oh yeah, and by the way... it actually wasn't ME who got it working once again... it was Mitch. PURE GENIUS.

We had tried a couple months back to work out some sort of glitch, but with no luck. Yesterday however, boom. Mitch tried again and bingo he thought of something that may have been screwed up. Whammo. He hit upon the possible problem and YIPPEE he solved it. Talk about it taking little to make me happy.

In the meantime, all I can tell you is: every bleeping weekend since last December 18th... SNOW!! EVERY SINGLE ONE!! It's been like crazy here! As if I'm living in Minnesota or something! I swear... the people in Vermont have not had the winter weather I have!! And COLD?? The temps have been nuts!! Don't ask how many bucks I've laid out to have my driveway cleared. Although, trust me... I'd pay double if I had to.

Just before Christmas, given I'm a weather freak, I walked into my local weather store and befriended Paul, who is the owner. He is a MAJOR weather freak. Next thing you know, I'm walking out with some sort of weather station that tells me everything short of when my roast is to come out of the oven. In the store, Paul said it was simple to set up, no problem, etc. UH... WRONG. Mitch took one look at the station yesterday and all I know is, he spent at least a half hour hooking this deal up to my router, dealing with internet registration, setting up the outdoor wireless set and only God knows what else. My job was easy: to hand him the batteries.

Anyway, I can now tell you the digital forecast for not only today, but for the next four days as well. I can even broadcast my own weather show now! What's it going to be like three days from now?? EASY. Give me a call and I'll have all the info you could possible need.

Of course I STILL have no way to watch TV should the power go out. Which is what I REALLY need. That minor little link to the outside world will apparently allude me until I fall for BIG BUCKS and by a big deal generator. Which I will definitely consider doing anytime now. Too bad I'm so cheap.