MISS ME???

I haven't posted a blog entry in quite a while. God knows what I've been doing, but whether or not it's been anything of significance, the days still passed one by one, until boom. The next thing I knew, days became weeks. Which really isn't such a big deal, given I really had nothing earth shattering about which to write. Since I last wrote however, I HAVE made a few decisions:

1.) I am taking a hiatus from hosting my weekly KnitWits group. Every Tuesday night for the past three years, any where from 5-15 women would join me for a few hours as we nibbled, gossiped and knitted. It was a great way to spend a Tuesday evening. We celebrated birthdays, we made beautiful scarves, sweaters, hats and whatever else someone wanted. The prize for finishing a project was a trip to my candy bar dish where the KnitWit could chose a chocolate candy of their choice. We even debated at times, but most of all, we laughed. Then, last week, for some unknown reason, right out of the blue, I decided I was ready for a hiatus. NEWS ALERT: DON'T SHOW UP NEXT TUESDAY. I'll probably be in a luxurious bubble bath sipping some fine champagne, perhaps. Well, okay... probably diet coke.

2.) I am back into my daily practice of yoga. I love how I feel during my yoga routine and even more, I love how I feel when I've completed a session. I love the peace and calm yoga brings to me but most of all, I love knowing I can bend over and wrap my hands around my ankles with straightened knees. It lets me pretend I'm as flexible as any modern day teen. My other favorite position is sitting on bended knees, with my full weight resting the heels of my feet . I call it my Geisha Girl Pose.

3.) I decided to once again begin testing my blood sugar which is something I never do, regardless of doctor's orders. Boy, is SHE going to be surprised. I am normally a pretty lazy patient thus following doctor's orders usually go only as far as popping a pill to make myself feel better. As in: pain killers, antibiotics, allergy pills and of course the occasional anti-anxiety med. Any medical order that consists of nothing more than swallowing a small pill for a big result, is my kind of modern medicine.

4.) The last decision I made was done so while at a party a couple of days ago. I was having a great time, hanging with good friends and munching on delicious food. So good, in fact, that it took but maybe an hour or so when, boom. My ultra sensitive digestive system kicked in. Enter: Bathroom visit. While in this very nice bathroom, I was looking around and eeeks. What should I see? A HUGE UPRIGHT BATHROOM SCALE!! What?? People actually go out of their way to uh... get weighed??? Are they crazy?? Who on earth would ever want to KNOW such information?? It was then and there that I made my final decision: these friends... people whom I simple adore... must be absolutely full blown masochists! WHO KNEW? Folks actually WANT to check out their weight?? Jesus. In my book, that's just plain CRAZY! And, hopefully, being crazy is waaaay better than being masochistic.

WARHOL ON THE CHEAP

I was watching a show on TV today. One of the home decor shows. And I saw an idea that sorta caught my fancy. You're looking at it right next to this text. While you may think it's the turquoise coloring that makes it remarkable, it's actually something else, altogether.

First of all, on the TV show, they talked about taking a personal photo, zeroing in on just part of the face, blowing it up, colorizing it any color you want, making about 5 copies and then... hanging the photos in a uniform way on the wall. It's a kind of a cheapo way of getting a homemade Andy Warhol portrait. Anyway, it all sounded pretty interesting, so I got up and went right to the computer to create my OWN Warhol lookalike. What you're seeing is the finished piece. For a lot less than Andy would have charged. too. I'm thinking maybe I'll hang 5 of them above the headboard of my bed. All in different colors. Keyword: maybe.

Secondly, what I found most interesting, is that I even allowed this picture to be taken at all. Number one, I don't even think I have on any make up. Number two, what you don't see is that I'm wearing nothing but a spaghetti strap black nightgown. And number three... which is the reason the picture was taken in the first place... is the fact that you'd NEVER see me with my hair down. Thus... what makes this shot noteworthy. SO noteworthy in fact, that as you can see, folks apparently decided it required actual documentation.

And, it's a good thing they did. For, when searching my files for a picture of me that would, in fact, work best for my Warhol project, bingo. This was the only shot that was in the running. Which isn't saying much as far as how photogenic I may be. Regardless, I printed out an 8x10 picture but am far from making any final decision as to whether or not I should follow through on this decorating idea. Actually, to help make up my mind, I took the printed page and hung it up on the front of my upper oven. This way, I can stare at it to my heart's content, wondering if I should/should not complete this deal.

So... whether or not I ever hang my Warhol portraits above my bed, I just don't know. What I DO know however, is that you better take a good long look at this pict. 10 to 1, It's the last time you'll ever see me with my hair down for a lonnnnnng time yet to come.

GOING APE

The online dictionary states that going ape means: to become wildly excited or enthusiastic. I myself am adding the nuance whereby it connotes not only excitement, but HAPPY excitement, specifically. Which is why I am SOOO not going ape. Instead, I'm going ape s**t. And believe you me, that's a whole DIFFERENT story altogether. THAT word, the online dictionary defines as: to become agitated, upset, or enraged. In other words... FLIPPED FREAKIN' OUT.

Which is exactly how I've felt the past two hours. I've been subjected to such horror and panic while watching televsion that my heart is STILL pounding, as we speak. And, there's another hour yet to go which naturally, I won't be seeing.

What, you ask, has elicited such fear in me? The one movie I was dying to catch on HBO. THAT'S what. And now that I've caught it, get this... I thought I WOULD to die while watching it. Gee. Thanks, Hollywood.

There I was, all settled in, happily knitting a scarf for a special friend. I zipped through the channels, and lo and behold... what should JUST be starting, but... yippee! KING KONG! The movie I couldn't wait to see! Yup... this had all the makings of a fabulous way to spend a cozy couple of hours.

Jesus. What a fool I was. I had NO clue this version of King Kong wanted to tear your heart out. While the King Kong film of days gone by was actually kind of fun to watch, THIS one was fun to watch only if you consider terror and fear a good thing. I, of course, do not. In this new version, there are MAjor wild beasts, WAY uncivilizied tribes of people, voo-doo up the kazoo and all KINDS of crazy ass creatures. Kinda like Jurassic Park, but with pygmie type dregs of society inflicting unimaginable chaos while behaving comPLETly outta control. And, for your viewing pleasure, this tribal/beast madness goes on for at least an hour. WHAT?? THIS IS A MOVIE?? ARE THEY NUTS??

I swear to God... after investing two hours, I simply had to say ADIOS, PANDEMONIUM. Thanks, but no thanks. I was actually at a place where I had to truly protect myself since it WAS almost bedtime; and I sort of like going to bed withOUT the fear of nightmares. Which was too bad. I really would have liked to know what happened after all the people were eatten alive. Did the ape ever see New York? Did he develop a thing for the starlet? Did guy ever get to ... which is the main theme of the movie... make his film?

Alas, I'll apparently never know. But, I do know this. If you choose to watch this movie, grab your popcorn... AND your valium. You'll need it.

A WORLD OF FIRSTS

Many years ago, my step son once came home from college wearing a t-shirt with which I fell in love. It was a promotional shirt from a bank... First Union, maybe. On the back of the t-shirt was a huge list of all sorts of phrases connected with word FIRST. For some crazy reason, I became so intrigued with this list; probably because I thought it was one of the most clever things I'd ever seen. Besides, I do so admire imaginative advertising.

Apparently, the intrique stayed with me, even up until this very day. In fact, I've often tried to recreate this List of Firsts in my mind, wishing I could actually remember everything on Joshua's t-shirt. Which is pretty funny, given I can't even remember what the hell I did just yesterday. BUT... I'm not one to give up easily. Thus... I sat down last night, having decided to FINALLY recreate a list of any phrase with which one associates the word FIRST. I actually had a pretty good time working on it, too.

ANNOUNCEMENT! Below is the list! Check it out. Who knows... maybe you'll even be the first one to read it!

first aid
First Amendment
first and foremost
first and last
first appearance
first balcony
first step
first kiss
first look
first place
first in line
first thought
first time
first husband
first class
first act
first word
first base
first gear
first verse
first sign
First Commandment
first frost
first line
first off
first of all
first born
first love
First Lady
first name
first known
first chance
first person
First World War
first row
first date
First Noel
first punch
first chapter
first order
first half
first right of refusal
first sight
first generation
first priority
first impression
First Thanksgiving
first bite
First Family
first snow
first glance
first edition
first attempt
first quarter
first piece
first birthday
first row