7/9/09

SET YOUR CLOCK

I so can't believe this. Apparently I should be thinking about getting a paper route, considering I need to be up at 4:00 a.m, anyway. Kinda like killing two birds with one stone. Get this...

I have a very specific TV schedule in the mornings. It keeps me company while playing in the background as I get up, put on make up, get dressed, make my bed, return phone calls, whatever. It's not my FAVORITE TV schedule, but via a process of elimination, I weeded out the absolutely WILL NOT WATCH shows from the OKAY, IF I HAVE NO CHOICE shows. Thrown into the mix are a couple of BINGO, DEFINITELY WATCH shows. As in: Martha Stewart.

Each morning at 10:00 I switch the channel and catch some really interesting info on what's doing in the Land of Martha. In fact, I even follow her on Twitter. So, Monday, as per usual, I click on the station... BOOM. NO MORE MARTHA!!! GONE! KAPUT! Whoa. Are you kidding me??? WHAT THE HELL IS DEAL OR NO DEAL DOING ON?? So not a show I can watch so early. WAY too much energy for 10:00 in the morning, if you ask me. Uh... by the way....I didn't take to this schedule change any too happily, trust me.

In fact, I went on the web, searched out my satellite company and my local TV station to find out exactly when she IS on. Talk about getting no where fast. So much so, that today I finally broke down and actually called the peeps at my local TV station. Sitting down??


MARTHA'S NOW ON AT FOUR IN THE MORNING!!

Huh??? WHO THE F IS UP AT THAT HOUR OF THE MORNING?? WHAT GIVES, HERE?? Well, according to the programming department, Martha apparently wasn't getting the ratings they needed during the morning time slot. WHO CARES? GIVE ME BACK MARTHA! AND MAKE IT AT TEN, TOO!

Oh man... am I ever screwed. I need to set my ALARM CLOCK to watch her?? This is totally crazy. Granted, I can set my DVR to record her show each morning, but seriously... this is completely not cool. Besides, given I'm the laziest person in the world, now, I'll have to actually walk all the way over to the remote and switch over to my DVR playlists. I'm smelling: UNNECESSARY HASSLES, here. Geez... just put the show on at regular time. Sooo much easier!

Besides, I need her show. I absolutely HATE the judge shows. I also hate the crazy ass screaming idiots on the low life talk shows. I even hate the doctor shows. Finally, I hate the "additional" hour of the morning shows. Enter: Martha Stewart Show. PERFECT CHOICE for a woman who is just beginning her day! Uh... beginning at TEN, that is. Not at four in the morning. Like who is going to watch directions for a perfect craft or start making a shopping list for a great recipe at THAT hour? I can see already, I'm sooo doomed. Damnit.

So, okay. I have to tape it daily and watch it later, at a much more reasonable hour. But, I'm telling you... I'm this far from calling Martha myself and telling her... EEEKS. THEY'RE SCREWING WITH YOU. AND WITH ME, TOO. TELL TV TO PLEASE PUT YOU BACK ON AT A REASONABLE HOUR. Of course to women like Martha, who have energy levels up the kazoo, maybe pre-dawn hours ARE reasonable. Which begs the question: I wonder exactly when she DID have to get up, while living in the big house, a few years ago. Trust me... I'll bet later than 4:00 a.m. In which case, don't make ME get up at that hour, either.