A TASTY HOLIDAY

As I was walking by my big candy bowl today, all set up for Halloween hand outs tonight, I was thinking: now THIS is what I call a fabulous holiday! I mean it... think about it. A holiday MANDATING YOU COLLECT AND EAT ALL THE CANDY YOU CAN POSSIBLY GATHER!! Wow. Talk about a dentist's delight!

Maybe it was because I was so hungry at the moment, but I have to admit, when I passed by the bowl, it occurred to me that maybe THIS particular holiday is better than perhaps Christmas! Is that like even POSSible? Yeah, yeah, I know Christmas is a celebration of religious intent, but uh... sorry, Charlie. Not completely. It's the presents that count pretty high MY list, if you ask me. Uh... of course no one did, thus, so much for that. All I know is, that for a split second, I decided that frankly, Halloween isn't given enough credit for it's ingenious way of celebrating. GO! EAT CANDY! LOTS OF IT, TOO! FOR FREE, NO LESS! Man... what a deal.

By the way... if I heard T.V. correctly, I think that it said Halloween is like the most profitable of all holidays, for retailers. Huh? Are you sure?? I don't know... given the monies spent on costumes, candy, decorations, parties, etc... maybe. But, if not, it CERTAINLY ranks right up there, in the top 3. Anyway, when I was young, I'm almost thinking that maybe I put way too much emphasis on the costume element, and not enough on the candy part. However... don't get me wrong. I was WAY into the candy aspect, trust me. What? You think I was a COMplete fool?

Maybe the costume part became a huge factor for me, because if I remember correctly, it like rained almost EVERY SINGLE Halloween for years. Which uh... sort of puts a major dent in the costume planning, for sure. The humidity in South Florida alone, was a major bummer. Hence, wearing slinky, black skin tight lycra could easily have had the same effect as three hours in a sauna. Of course I would never have to worry since the idea of ME wearing such an item was SO never going to happen.

Regardless, to show what a sport I am, and how true to my belief I can be, while celebrating the holiday of candy tonight, I decided I'm handing out the candy I hate most, while hording all the candy I love best, for myself. In other words... the costumed kiddies will DEFinitely get the Skittles and Starbursts WAY before I begin handing out the Snickers and Baby Ruths. In fact, the Almond Joys and Mounds aren't even going to BE in the hand out bowl. Afterall, Halloween is a holiday for everyone... uh... including me, too. Only THIS time, I don't have to go door to door. Instead, I'm going right smack to own personal stash, tucked away safely here at home, and yippee. Just like a kid... I'll celebrate like no tomorrow!

JACK AND JACKIE

Meet the O's. Jack and Jackie O'Lanterns, that is. They are newest members of my holiday family. I love these guys. Which reminds me... you can tell which is Jackie right off the bat. She's the one sporting a pair of earrings... MY earrings, I might add. You'll have to click on the pict to catch that little detail, but... they DO look kinda cute, don't you think?

I had company this weekend and as part of our fun and games, we each created a Halloween masterpiece. Meaning: as novices, we each took a pumpkin and did some out and out carving. Uh... as you can see, neither of us is a major pro. BUT... we did come up with a couple of cutie pies. Who, for all we know, may one day become pumpkin pies.

But not for a long time, believe me. I am hoping J & J will stick around a bit. Like... for at least a couple more months, anyway. At first I was going to add them to my other pumpkins, comfortably sitting upon the steps to my front door. But I changed my mind. I figured why take chances on ghosts and goblins contributing an untimely demise of these folks. Not to mention real life hooligans who, on the spur of the moment, could decide to do something really mean and crazy to the O' Family.

I don't know how long it's been since YOU'VE carved out a pumpkin, but let me tell you... it's no easy feat. In fact, IT'S HARD! Getting out all the interior flesh and pulp of this fruit requires major dedication. And YES... a pumpkin is a fruit. By definition, a fruit has seeds while a vegetable has roots or leaves or stems. See? You learn something new every day. Anyway, carving is also tricky and this requires major CAUTION. One cut in the wrong place... like on your finger, hand or wrist... and oops. It'll take this project to a whole new level; and possibly to a brand new hospital. Talk about BOO!

Luckily we avoided the emergency room. Instead, we concentrated on carefully cutting through the thick rind, slowly but surely, twisting and turning and bingo. Next thing you know... we had two adorable Halloween treats! I loved this project! As soon as we finished, I found two small candles, stuck them in the middle interior and turned off all the lights. THE FAMILY ORANGE LOOKED BEAUTIFUL! And whimsical. And happy.

You sure can't say I don't get into the spirit of the holidays! Which reminds me... Yippee. Next up is Thanksgiving! Tom and Teresa Turkey, maybe??

TRICK OR TREAT

See this pict?? It's my stash for Halloween Trick or Treaters. And yet, I kinda hope it will still be aROUND by the time they begin coming to my door. Because frankly, it's getting plenty iffy here, with each day that passes by. I've had this HUGE bowl of goodies out for at least a week now, and trust me... walking past it 179 times a day is a trick all onto itself, since I could so down this entire collection in mere hours.

On the other hand, I have to admit, I've got a pretty good grip on my personal self control, so basically I'm pretty much good to go. It's all the VISITORS who come to my house that have a much harder time gripping THEIRS. In fact, they HAVE no control. And afterall, who can blame them? There's a nifty little choice of treats in this yummy display and besides... who doesn't like to pop a bit of candy in their mouth while sitting around and gossiping? Oh yeah... I purposely put the Skittles on right smack on top, since my intention is to definitely get rid of those first. I hate Skittles. But I LOVE Baby Ruth's so, those I didn't even put in the bowl to begin with. What? Share MY favorites? Uh... not happening.

I wasn't living here last year. Thus, I have no clue how many little kiddies to expect. Not to mention the grown kiddies who should have given up Trick or Treating years ago. Which means... I now have to go out and buy MORE candy? EEEKS.

I was speaking to a neighbor the other day... she told me that last year she THINKS her doorbell rang about 35 times. Oh man... this is going to be one hell of a bumpy ride, if you ask me. She also said that when her candy ran out, about 9:00, she simply turned off her front porch light and boom. Supposedly, it was signal that candy hand outs were kaput.

If you ask me, its way more of a signal to say: OKAY, KIDS. BRING IT ON... EGG MY HOUSE IN RETALIATION AND OH, BY THE WAY... WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, WHY NOT JUST PAPER THE S*%T OUT OF IT, TOO. Yikes. Can you imagine?

HOUSING CRUNCH

Now HERE'S something that gives a whole new meaning to the term: a housing crunch. And THIS house is not only crunchy, BUT delicious, too! Although, I have admit... whoever eats THIS house is going to have to pay a heavy price, indeed. I WANT TO KEEP IT INTACT, FOREVER. So basically... hands off! In fact, click on the picture, and you'll see it in it's fully glory... then you'll know what I mean. IT'S FABULOUS.

That's because... guess what? I MADE IT! Actually a friend and I made it together. OUR FIRST TIME, EVER, I might add. Came out pretty decent, don't you think? There I was, in one of those big wholesale grocery stores last week, and I happened to see this Gingerbread House Kit. I had seen it last year, but never picked it up way back then. But THIS year I did. Am boy, am I glad. It was such fun, I cannot tell you. WHO KNEW??

Granted, I can't enter our finished product into any of those ritzy upscale Gingerbread House contests that you see during the holiday season, but trust me.... give me one or two more swings at this deal, and bingo. I might be able to pull off something. Well, kinda. There are WAY more complicated structures and decorated way more lavishly than my house, but still.... I would highly recommend you try this one day. Oh yeah... a day with plenty of time to kill, by the way. Come to find out, you've got to let it all set up for a while before moving along to the next steps. No big deal... a great time to catch a movie, we found out.

Anyway, we divvied up the parts of the house, each of us taking two sides, and then bingo. We let our creative juices flow accordingly. By the way... the sides that are decorated better than the others?? Uh, I didn't do THOSE. My friend did, and was way better than I, but what the hell. Then, we both worked on the roof. I did a lot of the finishing touches on roof, while my friend did the front entrance. In the end, we had a GREAT time and best of all, the completed house came out such, that you DEFinitely know what it is supposed to be. Which of course is always a perfect test, and one we passed with flying colors!

I already decided what we'll use the next time we take on such a challenge. Forget about the candies supplied with the kit. I'm choosing candy I love to EAT. As in: M&Ms, Hershey Miniatures, Red Licorice, Dots, etc., etc. Boy will it look great! Almost good enough to eat, actually. But... DON'T you dare. I love looking at it way too much.

HOUSE OF GLITZ

Boy... was I ever a happy camper today. Look what I found while shopping for plants! THE glitziest gold wreathe of ribbon and foil and curlicues you ever did see. SO up my alley! I took one look at it and thought BINGO. This guy is DEFINITELY for me.

Ordinarily I don't buy too many wreathes. But, wow, one look at this and it was like a little puppy with very say eyes saying: PLEASE TAKE ME HOME. To YOUR home. Actually, it was more like a puppy with really sparkly eyes lighting up into huge saucers as it saw me walk by. And... the puppy just KNEW I was the right owner for such a treat. Talk about being astute.

I originally went to the store to buy plants and pumpkins. Oh yeah... I also had to make a return, which I did. Then, as I headed over to the plant department, I sort of strolled over to the Xmas display... which by the way... huh?? Before Halloween even hits?? SOME merchandising jump start, if you ask me. But... whatever.

In the meantime, I have to admit I LOVE XMAS TIME. It's the best all time shopping opportunity for a buyer like myself. The glitzier the better, and yippee. The Xmas season has some of the most fabulous glitz, bar none. So, there I was, spotting this wreathe and immediately, I called Claudia over and said... uh... now HERE'S something with my name on it! She had to agree, given she knows my taste pretty well, and in no time at all, this deal went right smack into my basket... no questions asked. I LOVE IT.

So much so, that in a matter of minutes of my arriving back home, I hung the wreathe on my front door, lickety split. Now... NO one will ever get confused when pointing out which house is mine. It looks soooo pretty and glitzes up the front of the house like crazy. Well, that, and the stunning yellow mums on the front steps. And the six pumpkins. And the four hanging baskets of winter pansies. And the array of colorful oversized gourds. Uh... you think you'll find my house okay?

Actually, maybe I should take a picture of the entire front of the house and show you one day. For now, however... this wreathe is definitely the money. Which reminds me... EEEEEKS... AGAIN, THE STOCK MARKET WENT DOWN THE TUBES TODAY. Meaning: will I even HAVE a house by the time all this is over? Maybe not, but at least I'll have plenty of glitz. That counts for something, yes??

SMILING LATELY???

I've tried for a long time not to talk about McCain's campaign. But it's getting to the point now, that to silence ourselves about the wicked, cheap and unpatriotic tactics McCain has been implementing, would be about as un-American as I can ever imagine. The entire beauty of our democratic country is that we are able to select two candidates to run and then... we as citizens can determine via a wide variety of ways, who is the best one to serve as our President. Even better... is that again, we, as a democratic country can listen, read, discuss, etc. what each candidate stands for and how they will tackle all the issues before our nation. Current issues and as well as issues in the future.

What is NOT so beautiful is the unforgivable mudslinging, the desire to incite crowds into negative anger and/or hateful frenzies which McCain is so happily doing this week. It is sheer wickedness, if you ask me. And, sheer desperation. THIS is the sort of character you want to lead our country?? Does this not speak VOLUMES for the man representing the Republican Party??

Case in point... do you think for ONE minute, that (especially) given the Patriot Act whereby we wire tap, we investigate, we search without warrants, and we examine every computer on earth, we would not KNOW whether or not Bill Ayers is a dangerous man?? Do you think for ONE minute that the University of Illinois, where Ayers holds the title of Distinguished Professor, would actually EMPLOY a worrisome terrorist?? ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME?? Do you people have no brains whatsoever?? Man, you Republicans are scaring the s&^t out of me.

I am simply sickened beyond words by the campaign the Republican Party is endorsing and encouraging. I particularly love each time the middle name HUSSEIN is used. You're going to make a critical decision for the leader of the free world based on a MIDDLE NAME, FOR GOD'S SAKES?? ONE GIVEN TO YOU BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN PRACTICALLY BREATHE ON YOUR OWN?? Geez... I so wished right now that my middle name was ADOLF... I would LOVE to see myself shunned by all the zillions of family and friends that adore me up the kazoo. WHAT?? WHAT'S HER MIDDLE NAME?? OH MY GOD... NEVER SPEAK TO LINDA EVER AGAIN!! And, be sure she NEVER sits on any board with us for another second! I don't care HOW brilliant and fabulous she is!

Man... I just can't tell you how my blood curdles at the thought of McCain representing me on anything. I would have no problem... well, wait a minute. I'd have a problem, but at least I could do so with minor respect... if McCain fought his campaign based on issues, solutions, calm, intellect and forward, creative thinking. Instead I am ashamed that Obama has to run against such an ugly opponent. Fair play, may the best man win, verbal honor and integrity... WHERE ARE SUCH NOTIONS IN THE MIND OF MCCAIN, ANYWAY?? How DARE he call himself a gentleman. Let alone, a Senator in our United States Congress.

Frankly, I hope the man burns in hell for the way he's campaigning. And... if you do nothing else PLEASE don't elect this man to the highest office in the land. Unless of course, you're heavy into smut and disgrace. In which case, you'll have all you've ever wanted in President McCain. I am so not smiling at the mere thought.

BATHED IN WISHES

Is it me, or do you ALSO see something strange in this picture here? I am so telling you... it knocks me out every time I pass by my bathtub! Which naturally, I do about 749 times each day. And, each time I do... I can't beLIEVE what I am forced to see. Talk about wishful thinking, huh?

Granted, YOU may not catch it right off the bat, but trust me, there is like NO way you can miss catching this manly phenomena in person! In fact, I suspect this shadow, which I see everyday of my life, gives a whole new meaning to shadow playing! Which is too bad, since I would SO love to run into any guy who can create this image for REAL.... for, in real life, this deal is like HUGE! Come to think of it, I'd also love to see this guy hop right smack into my bathtub since it might be sort of fun to actually help BATHE him. Oh yeah... for those more adventurous type out there, click on the picture, and you'll get a much better feel... so to speak... for it's actual size.

After looking at this tidbit for months and months, now, I finally decided last night to snap the photo and write about it. Just as I was doing so, a friend of mine came over and NATURALLY I ushered them into my bathroom and said: SO, WHAT DO YOUUUUUU SEE?? Bingo. In no time flat, they got what I was after. After trying to contain ourselves from the sheer amazement of this, we came to the computer, trying to find just the right snap shot that would do this entry justice. Uh... yup... I think we accomplished the mission with flying colors.

All along my bathtub edges, I've got all sorts of pretty and/or necessary items for bathing. Candles, bubble beads, crystal figurines, loofah sponges, etc. You name it, I can supply it. For THIS imaginary gentleman, however, I would SO not allow him to add bubbles to his bath. What? And block the stupendous view with suds and suds up to his neck? Absolutely not. In fact, I'd almost have ask... like just how long do you think he would be in the tub, before I TOO, jumped right in and said: OKAY... LET'S PLAY!

Now I admit... I'm a firm believer in cleanliness being next to Godliness thus frankly... with the key words here being FIRM, CLEAN, AND GOD... I am DEFinitely sporting some kind of one hot looking Adonis, for sure! A shadowy kind of Adonis, perhaps... but one, nonetheless. Talk about a tease.

SPARKNOTES.COM

See this guy?? Ever see him before? Clue: He's pretty damn famous. As in Russian Literature Famous. As in Anna Karenina Famous. Give up??

This is Leo Tolstoy, the author of that famous Russian novel... a book that is one of my all time favorites. I read it once as a young woman, and then I re-read it again, as an old woman... about three years ago. What a story. Kind of a complicated story, too, given that not only is it a translation from a crazy ass language, but also, Leo apparently is into like 300 main characters, all of whom have names one can hardly roll off their tongue, given they each have like 15 syllables. Check out the list of characters one day and tell me if YOU can pronounce them!

In the meantime, I came across a web site the other day... SparkNotes. It's like a cheater's Cliff Notes/study guide type deal. You can study for a test on this book, get an A, all without ever once picking up the book and actually READING it! Man, what a concept! And, SparkNotes is way more detailed than I ever remember Cliff Notes being. Best of all... ITS FREE. You can download it straight from the net. Thus, to test the site, that's exactly what I did with Anna Karenina. Want to hear something bizarre??

Apparently I'M AN IDIOT!! I swear. I read all the notes, summaries, plots, etc. from this story and guess what? It turned out to be NOTHING like the book I read! I mean... I read the book, alright. And I loved the book immensely. But it seems as if I HAD NO IDEA OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED in the book. According to the SparkNotes, I missed way more than half the story!! As I said, it's a complicated story, but I had no clue there were so many levels to it. And so many sub-plots. And so many nuances. Etc. etc. Man, I was SHOCKED.

Had I followed the teacher's instructions let's say, and read the book, studied it, and then taken the test on it, I would have FAILED with flying colors! Remembering all the locations alone, of what takes place where in the story, was, according to the SparkNotes, WAY over my head. It absolutely stuns me that I so loved this book, thought I digested this book, but in reality, lost out on so MUCH of this book. Talk about feeling like a dunce. It's like there were 15 different levels in processing the story line and me? I uh... processed about the first half of the first level.

I dare not even IMAGINE I could pass a test on WAR AND PEACE. Which I did read, lonnnng ago. And, which Tolstoy also wrote, by the way. But, believe you me, should I ever sign up for a Literature course, I would SO never read the books. I'd head over to the cheater's web site lickety split, for SURE. Or...stick to books along the lines of NANCY DREW, THE BOBBSEY TWINS or THE HARDY BOYS. My comprehension of THESE is way closer to my reading level. I think.