I've apparently taken on a new job. Not one I'm particularly thrilled about either, but one which is pretty much necessary. For home beautification and/or home protection. My new job?? Get this... DOG PATROL. Mainly, targeting dogs who use my lawn as their bathroom. I HATE THAT.
I don't get it. First of all, the owners are supposed to walk their dogs on a leash. Secondly, when doing so, they are supposed to pick up the unsightly remains their darling little pets leave behind. And thirdly, DOGS SHOULDN'T BE MAKING ON MY LAWN in the first place! Especially since I'm on the corner lot. Thus, right smack NEXT to my property is a huge forest of the finest looking dog bathroom facilities one could ever ask for. So, WHY USE MINE??
Geez... this just irks me. Trust me... I've spotted many a violator of this rule, and more than just once, I might add. I am basically able to be diligently on Dog Patrol round the clock because, I'm at my computer often. And... the computer is staring right smack out my front lawn window; thus giving me the ability to scout pretty much 24/7, exactly what's going on in my neighborhood. Actually, I kinda love this front and center positioning. I know which people walk when, with whom and more importantly, who owns which dogs. Except for just now.
I have to admit, just moments ago, I happened to see a brand new looking pooch in the neighborhood... a small white almost terrier type. He was strutting the streets without anyone accompanying him, thus I have no idea to whom he belongs. Of course, just when he was approaching my lawn, I began my fierce gaze just WAITING for him to crouch down to begin his squatting position. I stared and stared and sure enough... BOOM! The dog squatted. It took me but an INstant before I yelled out the window, NO!! NO!! I must have scared the holy hell out of him because... wow... did THAT puppy scurry! That's the good news. The bad news is, I saw him fly right on over to the house next to me to use THEIR facilities! Good doggie.
Of course, now... I'm wondering if the little pet made it home alright, given I have no clue where he lives. Or, maybe he merely belongs to the people who just pulled up to the house across the street, that's currently for sale. Given my new job, I was also watching, as they and the realtor entered the house, to apparently give it a once over. Which makes me think: Gee... maybe I'll get new neighbors. Maybe even ones who own a white little dog. A little white dog who, soon enough, will probably learn to hate the new Dog Patrol.
I so love this picture. Probably because I so love these apples. And, I love the wooden bowl in which they are sitting. I remember being a little girl, watching my mother chop all KINDS of food in this bowl, which at the time, looked to be the all time largest bowl I had EVER seen. As in: HUGE. Seriously... it boggled my mind. Much like now... since it STILL boggles my mind given that it's SO not a particularly big bowl, after all. Believe me... I toss daily salads in bowls larger than this one. Talk about "through the eyes of a child!" Anyway, I keep this bowl of apples on the center of my kitchen dining table.
And, I love looking at it. What gets me most, however is how absolutely FABULOUS and inviting these apples look. I mean, you take a mere glance at them and your mouth immediately begins watering, just DYING to take a huge, juicy bite out of one. Except... please don't.
1.) They cost almost $15 a shot and
2.) You'll break your teeth.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Kinda pricey for an apple. But, man, LOOK AT THESE. They are so damn believable, it just KILLS me. To my way of thinking, a one time multi dollar investment pays off BIG time, considering it's for the rest of your life. Hence, my delight with the purchase. Besides, look at the REAL apple. Uh... the one that's eaten to the core, in case you couldn't spot the tree grown one vs. the man made. It looks EXACTLY like the pretend guys.
Which is why I love this picture even more. LOOK at how perfectly it's eaten around the core! I simply couldn't get over it. Which is why I ran to grab the camera. Trust me... I would love to take credit for this amazingly eaten apple, but alas, I can't. It was precisioned by a recent house guest, and not by me. Besides, I myself would never have eaten this apple. Why?? Easy. Because it's a Delicious. I don't do Delicious. I only do Granny Smith. Which, according to the Linda School of Tasty Apples is way more delicious than the actual Delicious.
Which reminds me... you want to REALLY down an incredible apple? Better tasting than ANY variety of them ALL? Find yourself a Honey Crisp Apple. You will thank me for the suggestion forever.
It's ironic to me, that a day after Heather Mills, the greedy, selfish, low life bitch, who gave her own little speech on the courthouse steps immediately after her divorce proceedings, we should have today, heard another speech; one delivered instead, by Barack Obama. The two speeches couldn't have possibly been more different in tone, importance and acumen. Heather's was spoken like a cheap British gold digger, while Barack's was more like an inspiring intellect digging for a Golden America.
If you were unable to hear Obama speak live today, then sadly, you missed the most eloquent, potent speech of our lifetime. Including those of John Kennedy or Martin Luther King. It was nothing short of incredible genius mixed with honest experience and emotional truth. In fact, I just heard, on my favorite political news station, that his speech was comparable to that of Abraham Lincoln's. I can only PRAY every student in this country was able to hear Obama's words in their own classroom.
As stated almost a year ago, I have been an Obama supporter from the get go. It matters not why, given that if I had to explain why his being President is SO much more preferential over Hillary or McCain, then it wouldn't even be worth my effort. Suffice it to say that we should BE so blessed as to have our country led by Barack.
What I WILL tell you however, is that while my son and I sat, listening to Barack tackle the race issue in politics and in America, we KNEW we were witnessing a defining moment in our history. We were not only moved beyond belief at hearing Obama's words, but also felt a sort of honor to hear words of an immensely grand orator, detailing with elegance, the most important message America could receive today.
Yes, I know... we have a lot to consider in this upcoming election. War, economics, health, education, global problems, etc. etc. Yet for me... to have a candidate that can meet these issues while combining race, understanding, statesmanship and dignity... well all I can say is: this sort of opportunity comes but once in a lifetime. Should we forgo our chance to have an American leader of quality such that Obama offers, would be to me, an unforgivable sin to the citizens of our country. I have sat back for 8 years watching a reprehensible President bring to ruin the stunningly remarkable concepts of our forefathers. Thus, when I think of the words IN GOD WE TRUST, I can promise you... I am also thinking about trusting in God, to give my country a leader whose caliber, integrity and respectability is like that of Barack Obama. Indeed, he embodies an essence that I have not seen in ANY President since I reached voting age. And, trust me. I'm WAY over 21.
The last time Laura was here, she was telling me how everyone in her office has so much fun performing some sort of task and then boom.... hitting the EASY BUTTON. You've seen this deal yet? If not... check it out on the pict above.
The commercial for Staples Office Supplies plays all the time on TV. And, it's closing tag line usually ends with some little guy inside the button saying: THAT was easy. He's an encouraging sort of guy, to say the least. How do I know? Because... the last time I was in Staples, about 6 weeks ago, I BOUGHT the Easy Button! In fact, I bought 4, given part of the cost goes to charity or something. Anyway, ever since I bought them, I've kept one in several rooms of the house and bingo. I do a chore, whamo, I press the button.
So does everyone else who comes into my house. They LOVE this toy! Claudia can hardly let me make a turn without pressing this button. I'm so telling you... you've got to go out and buy this toy. Not only will Staples love you for it, but so too, will your family and friends. On the other hand, my REAL love for a talking toy has got to be my FINAL WORD toy, hands down.
It's a hand held gadget that you place in the palm of your hand and every time you press the button, a funny little guy says some of the MOST horrible profanities you've ever heard. Kinda like the Easy Button guy goes porn. The Final Word guy is PERFECT for driving down the street, standing in line at the store or basically, just for having around for whenever you're dealing with idiots. Outta no where, you can keep this toy in your pocket and while you're arguing with someone, you press the button and boom. The guy does your work for you, saying to someone, what you only WISHED you could say. As in: F. Y. Or, E.S. Or even, YOU'RE SUCH a C.S. Man, it's hilarious. And oh, so handy, by the way.
I've given both these toys away as gifts and if I were you, I'd consider doing it, as well. Of course most people would NEVER own the Final Word deal, like I do. In which case, the Easy Button is the way to go. Which reminds me... I've finished this entry. Now, THAT was easy!
Uh... sitting down?? Get this... I have a new roommate. Don't ask. After YEARS of living a life style of doing whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted with whomever I wanted, BOOM, all has undergone a major change, in a major way. As in: new time scheduling, new cleaning responsibilities, new shopping lists, new noise levels, new laundry loads, new EVERYthing. And while normally, the best part of having roommates, is the fact you get to have someone sharing expenses, THIS roommate has ME doling out the bucks. Lots of them too, I might add. Why, you ask? Because, get this... my new roommate is MY SON!! Eeeks.
It's been a LONG time since my kid has lived at home. And, actually, I kinda got used to my new found peace and quiet for the past 6 years. Indeed, I LIVED for his visits back home. But... did I ever think he'd actually come back to LIVE at home?? Uh... no. That's an entirely DIFFERENT story, if you ask me. In the meantime, my son, his father, and I, all decided it would be a great idea to give my kid a chance to regroup, rethink and redirect. Hence: the new roommate.
Our first day was kinda interesting. First of all, it was POURING all day long. Regardless, however, we spent the day running all over town, buying all sorts of deals to make my precious baby nice and comfy. Uh... a little TOO comfy, if you ask me, but who's counting. Secondly, not only were we out selecting nice new linens, choosing all his favorite foods, setting up his lovely new room, BUT... just now we (actually HE) set up a brand new wireless Internet connection for his computer. Apparently my desktop doesn't count. Having access on his laptop in his bedroom is way more his speed. Of course, it was ME who had the pleasure of being able to actually pay for the new techie hook ups, but again... who's counting. Talk about the ole adage: KIDS TODAY!
On the other hand, its great having my son's company. No question about that. It's also great spending time with him and hearing him laugh or even being able to send him out for errands. We've already hooked into a possible job for him, which now that I think about it, would be excellent to help offset the billions it's costing me to house him. Plus, I love people with muscles, so having an extra pair around the house is definitely a bonus.
So, basically... all is happy and harmonious in my little abode. And my sweet little roommate is doing absolutely just fine. Of course, it's only been day two so God only knows what can happen by WEEK two. Already the thermostat setting has been a bone of contention. Now, that didn't take long.
I've apparently taken on a new job. Not one I'm particularly thrilled about either, but one which is pretty much necessary. For home beautification and/or home protection. My new job?? Get this... DOG PATROL. Mainly, targeting dogs who use my lawn as their bathroom. I HATE THAT.
