Forget about those measly Quarter Pounders, Half Pounders or even Three Quarter Pounders. You know... those hamburgers that fast food restaurants like to peddle as an excellent choice, but that in reality, is really about 4 days worth of caloric intake? Well, today I think I topped them all. Today I think I must have had an actual fully loaded ONE WHOLE POUNDER. Easily.
I went to see my Dad earlier and on the way home I was starved. I seldom eat breakfast thus by noon time I'm normally ready to down everything in sight. Today, however I was dying for a cheeseburger and was almost tempted to stop in and pick up one of those poisonous burgers at my local drive through. I thought about it and then figured today wasn't the day I felt like poisoning myself, afterall. Instead I headed home and made a real life cheeseburger all by mySELF.
And that was SOME burger I whipped up! I swear... it was HUGE thus I am so sure it must have been an entire pound of ground chuck! Which would normally of course feed an entire family of four. Uh... not in THIS household, however. In my home, it apparently feeds one.
As if the burger wasn't enough, I melted cheddar cheese on it, loaded the toasted whole wheat bread with mustard and relish and even threw in some onions for good measure. I sat down at my dining room table and DOWNED THE WHOLE DAMN THING. God it was good. And, besides, this way I didn't have to have it "broiled, not fried". I had it cooked to a perfect medium rare which is way better than N.C.'s ruling whereby all hamburgers ordered out are mandated to be cooked at well-done or more.
Oh... and by the way... if ever you TOO decide to eat one of these hefty man type meals, don't plan on doing anything else for the rest of the day. YOU'LL BE TOO DAMN FULL for the rest of your life. In fact, you won't be able to move. Kinda like me. Which is why I finished lunch, put in an Adam Sandler movie, laid down in bed to view it and then bingo. Napped for a good two hours! Oh, and by the way... this is the third time I've watched this movie. Each time I've tried to watch it, I view for about 20 minutes and boom. The next you know, I'm FAST asleep. Which basically means this two hour movie for YOU turns out to be about a 10 hour movie for ME.
6/29/07
6/27/07
THE OTHER LIZ
See this picture? Know who it is?? I didn't. Which is pretty surprising, given I've worn a LOT of her clothing. She's Liz Claiborne and it simply astounds me that I would NEVER have recognized her right of the bat. Liz Taylor, yes. Liz Claiborne, no way. In fact, I don't EVER remember seeing a picture of her anywhere. I've been living in some sort of cave?? Eeks.In the meantime, Liz died today. And, get this... this is a pretty recent picture of her. AT 79 YEARS OLD, NO LESS!! Wow. Now here's what I'd like to look like at that age, for sure! Obviously, she's had a face lift or two. NO one at 79 looks that good! Not only that, you can see lickety split that the woman had style. No wonder. She also had ZILLIONS.
Apparently Liz's line was originally created for the working women of the 70's. It was pretty much during that era that women were heavily entering the work force, thus needed a fashionable career wardrobe. Boom. A phenomenon is born. In fact, one of the best things I liked about The Liz Biz was the fact that she was amongst the first to create a look for those in Specialty Sizes. MAjor points for THAT kind of vision, if you ask me. And, many thanks.
I could EASILY spot Coco Channel. Calvin Klein, Donna Karan and Karl Lagerfield, too. But, Liz Claiborne? Absolutely no way. Not until today, that is. And, I have to admit... I'm pretty damn glad that FINALLY I now know what she looked like. Geez... why did I never before even do a Google search on her? Oh well.
So... today's entry is basically an educational one. For, after reading this, now you TOO can know what Liz actually looked like. Aren't you glad I'm into teaching? As for me... I'm just glad that after all these years, I'm into her Misses Sizes. So long Lizzie... it's been great wearing you.
6/23/07
WIFE BEATERS
Well...wait a minute. I don't really mean wife beaters. Instead, I mean the white ribbed cotton undershirt and/or tank tops that, according to my kid, a lot of wife beaters WEAR. Especially while drinking their beers. You see them there, up above. Apparently they shout "stereotype".They also shout: My New Favorite Summer Clothing. The days are becoming way hot here thus, given my aversion to heated temps of 80 degrees plus, this undershirt look has become my staple while hanging around the house. And, while hopping into bed, too. Talk about comfy! I wear this top with a pair of my panties and boom. I'm dressed for the day. Any day I'm sticking close to home, that is.
Ever since the summer temps arrived, I've sorta adopted a whole new game plan. STAY COOL. Even if I have to run out to my front porch, my outside patio or my outdoor garbage can, for that matter. Rather than throwing on more discreet clothing, I run LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL to do whatever it is outside and pray like mad that no one will spot me. Wearing of course, nothing but my newly appointed uniform. So far, my luck has held out.
I even decided to go high tech in a couple of the looks. I have not only the clinic white color, but I also have them in grey and in black, too. I'm like cooking up a whole wardrobe, here. Get this... I even dyed a couple to match the color of some summer linen slacks I have, so that I can wear the matching colored pants/undershit under a multi-colored light weight jacket. The dye job worked like a charm, I might add. You'd almost think it was some sort of pricey outfit. Creative thinking, yes??
Anyway, I love the comfort of these deals. No WONDER men wore them as undershirts for all those years. Do they even DO that anymore? Actually, I guess they must, given there is a HUGE department in the stores relegated to just these kinds of items. Right next to the briefs and boxers, if you must know. Which makes me think... if the men's undershirts are so damn comfortable, can you even imagine what the undies must be like?? Uh... let's hope I never personally find out.
6/21/07
AIN'T LOVE GRAND
I live in a city that has a pretty popular playhouse and last weekend I went there to see a play. The play was CINDERELLA and I have to admit, at first I wasn't all that crazy about going. But, as it happens, it turned out to be not only a perfectly wonderful way to spend the evening, but also, a once in a lifetime event. Here's why....
As you can imagine, it's a sweet, romantic play, very much according to the story we all know, with the wicked step mother, the ugly, mean step sisters and of COURSE, Prince Charming. Thus, a perfect stage for anything concerning true love. Which is what I so loved about what occurred before the performance even began.
After the audience was seated, a guy came out onto the stage, along with two other people. A man and a woman... in their 30's, maybe. The guy told us something about the connection the young man and/or his family had with the beginings of the playhouse. But since it wasn't the REAL part of the play, I basically paid only mild attention. Then, THANKfully, I woke up and took notice of what was happening. The first guy handed the second guy the microphone so he could say a few words and THEN, he said he had something else to say, as well.
Next thing I know, the man turns to the woman and get this... GETS DOWN ON BENDED KNEE!! The play's court jester came walking out with a STUNNING glass slipper on a purple velvet pillow while another jester was blowing on a LONNNNG regal horn. The guy pulled out a small ring box from his pocket and PROPOSED TO THE WOMAN, RIGHT THERE ON STAGE! Obviously taking both the woman AND the audience by complete surprise! It was so fabulous, you can't believe it. Boy. Am I ever a sucker for romance. Naturally, the Bride to Be was shocked, thrilled and teary eyed. I was too, actually... this was SO romantic and so up my alley. And, simply brilliant timing by the Groom. Talk about a great way to remember your engagement night!
I myself was proposed to twice in my life. I can barley remember the details of the first proposal and only KINDA remember the second. But trust me. NEITHER of them held the romantic quality this Prince Charming of a Guy's did when he popped the question last weekend. If this is any sort of indication as to what the rest of their life as a happily romantic couple is to be, then boy, is SHE ever a lucky woman! I see soft candle light, fragrant rose petals and beautiful lavender scents all OVER the place for these two people.
Which I hope they enjoy to the Nth degree, since I've been down this road a time or two before. Thus I can almost bet you one thing for sure... these beautifully romantic nights change almost as fast as you can say: 1-2-3 CHILDREN! Which I guess makes this proposal so wonderful... these two young lovers will ALWAYS have this fantastic memory to recall, forever and ever. Especially when they're no longer saying: I DO. For, in it's place, trust me... they're almost certain to be replacing it with: BECAUSE I SAID SO. And they lived happily ever after.
As you can imagine, it's a sweet, romantic play, very much according to the story we all know, with the wicked step mother, the ugly, mean step sisters and of COURSE, Prince Charming. Thus, a perfect stage for anything concerning true love. Which is what I so loved about what occurred before the performance even began.
After the audience was seated, a guy came out onto the stage, along with two other people. A man and a woman... in their 30's, maybe. The guy told us something about the connection the young man and/or his family had with the beginings of the playhouse. But since it wasn't the REAL part of the play, I basically paid only mild attention. Then, THANKfully, I woke up and took notice of what was happening. The first guy handed the second guy the microphone so he could say a few words and THEN, he said he had something else to say, as well.
Next thing I know, the man turns to the woman and get this... GETS DOWN ON BENDED KNEE!! The play's court jester came walking out with a STUNNING glass slipper on a purple velvet pillow while another jester was blowing on a LONNNNG regal horn. The guy pulled out a small ring box from his pocket and PROPOSED TO THE WOMAN, RIGHT THERE ON STAGE! Obviously taking both the woman AND the audience by complete surprise! It was so fabulous, you can't believe it. Boy. Am I ever a sucker for romance. Naturally, the Bride to Be was shocked, thrilled and teary eyed. I was too, actually... this was SO romantic and so up my alley. And, simply brilliant timing by the Groom. Talk about a great way to remember your engagement night!
I myself was proposed to twice in my life. I can barley remember the details of the first proposal and only KINDA remember the second. But trust me. NEITHER of them held the romantic quality this Prince Charming of a Guy's did when he popped the question last weekend. If this is any sort of indication as to what the rest of their life as a happily romantic couple is to be, then boy, is SHE ever a lucky woman! I see soft candle light, fragrant rose petals and beautiful lavender scents all OVER the place for these two people.
Which I hope they enjoy to the Nth degree, since I've been down this road a time or two before. Thus I can almost bet you one thing for sure... these beautifully romantic nights change almost as fast as you can say: 1-2-3 CHILDREN! Which I guess makes this proposal so wonderful... these two young lovers will ALWAYS have this fantastic memory to recall, forever and ever. Especially when they're no longer saying: I DO. For, in it's place, trust me... they're almost certain to be replacing it with: BECAUSE I SAID SO. And they lived happily ever after.
6/19/07
THE EIGHTH WONDER
I am sort of on cloud nine. I can't believe it, but get this... I was just at the doctor's for a check up and lo and behold... I'VE LOST 12 LBS IN ABOUT THE LAST 12 MONTHS! Geez... this is DEFINITELY a miracle. Mainly because, while everyone else I know is working like hell to diet and lose weight, I on the other hand, have basically only KIND OF watched myself, but having never for even a moment, given up any my favorites.
Which means, whenever dining out, I've ordered any little thing my heart desired and almost always ended the meal with some sort of a sweet dessert. And, I don't mean fruit, either! It was much more along the lines of, shall we say, CHOCOLATE MOUSSE, CHOCOLATE LAYER CAKE WITH KILLER BUTTERCREAM FROSTING, or even maybe A SUNDAE WITH FUDGE. Now THIS is what I call a diet! Okay, Okay.... for the first time ever, I've added cottage cheese and yogurt to my staples, and even apples and grapefruit. But STILL I find this event a major feat... unless of course, I'm dying of some crazy disease which I don't yet know about. And actually, that's just how I'm going to remain... happily in the dark, not ever knowing, since I am definitely forgoing all investigation into any possible death related causes. Geez... why ruin a perfectly happy life actually SEARCHING for a reason to turn my entire world upside down, if you catch my drift.
As it happens, I don't think I'll have to count on dying any time soon after all, since get this... my blood pressure was 104 over 68 today. I think that's a pretty decent reading, if my medical degree serves me correctly. Yippee! I'm guessing no strokes. And, hopefully, no heart attacks, either. If all this points directly back to my yoga sessions, then I'm so telling you... it's the easiest way on earth to 1.) become really really flexible 2.) take off some unwanted pounds and 3.) get a sort of body sculpture going. As in: beginnings of a waist line. What a deal!
Which is pretty good, since trust me... I am SO not into depriving myself. In fact, to celebrate this good news... as we speak, I'm munching on a Bite Size Snickers Bar. Now, I think the next thing I have to address is: drinking Caffeine Free Diet Coke instead of the regular caffeinated kind. Now THAT'S an addiction! And, while I SO hate depriving myself of the things I love, I think I just may have to give it a stab. Here goes nothing...
Which means, whenever dining out, I've ordered any little thing my heart desired and almost always ended the meal with some sort of a sweet dessert. And, I don't mean fruit, either! It was much more along the lines of, shall we say, CHOCOLATE MOUSSE, CHOCOLATE LAYER CAKE WITH KILLER BUTTERCREAM FROSTING, or even maybe A SUNDAE WITH FUDGE. Now THIS is what I call a diet! Okay, Okay.... for the first time ever, I've added cottage cheese and yogurt to my staples, and even apples and grapefruit. But STILL I find this event a major feat... unless of course, I'm dying of some crazy disease which I don't yet know about. And actually, that's just how I'm going to remain... happily in the dark, not ever knowing, since I am definitely forgoing all investigation into any possible death related causes. Geez... why ruin a perfectly happy life actually SEARCHING for a reason to turn my entire world upside down, if you catch my drift.
As it happens, I don't think I'll have to count on dying any time soon after all, since get this... my blood pressure was 104 over 68 today. I think that's a pretty decent reading, if my medical degree serves me correctly. Yippee! I'm guessing no strokes. And, hopefully, no heart attacks, either. If all this points directly back to my yoga sessions, then I'm so telling you... it's the easiest way on earth to 1.) become really really flexible 2.) take off some unwanted pounds and 3.) get a sort of body sculpture going. As in: beginnings of a waist line. What a deal!
Which is pretty good, since trust me... I am SO not into depriving myself. In fact, to celebrate this good news... as we speak, I'm munching on a Bite Size Snickers Bar. Now, I think the next thing I have to address is: drinking Caffeine Free Diet Coke instead of the regular caffeinated kind. Now THAT'S an addiction! And, while I SO hate depriving myself of the things I love, I think I just may have to give it a stab. Here goes nothing...
6/15/07
THIS AND THAT
I wished I had something extraordinary to write about today, but the fact is... there's absolutely nothing of any sort of interest whatsover, about which I can share. So... either two things can happen. 1.) I can end the entry right here and now, wasting neither your time nor mine or 2.) I can write an entry, but one that is totally and completely mundane. Lucky you... I think I'll choose option 2.
a.) I'm freaked that while doing yoga a week ago, I apparently pulled a muscle in the back of my thigh and eeeks... IT STILL HURTS. Regardless, I've continued doing yoga each day, all the while, kind of praying the ache would mysteriously go away. But alas, the pain had only traveled further down my leg. Thus... for the first time in YEARS, I took a hot bath last night, hoping the moist heat would help ease the supposed muscle strain. Afterwards, I climbed into bed, turned on the TV and placed a heating pad under my leg. For added strength, I also downed two Advil. Guess what? IT WORKED. I woke up today and boom. As of yet, NO PAIN. Yippee.
b.) As we speak, I am listening to Court TV, which is airing the Mike Nifong trial. Which I figure is a waste of energy. Instead, defrock the guy of his license to practice and boom. It's over lickety split, with an outcome he justly deserves. And by the way.... while doing that, pardon Scooter Libby, please. He so doesn't deserve to do time. Dick Cheney, on the other hand?? Hang HIM. Actually, instead, merely shoot George Bush. Bingo. Poetic justice is in place.
c.) EEEKS. On Sunday, Dad's dog returns to live with me. For almost a month, no less. I can't decide which part I hate more. Claudia's going away for so long; or my having to walk the dog three times a day. If I had to choose, I guess I'd choose Claudia remaining here in lieu of heading to Australia. Which actually, would alleviate the dog problem 1-2-3.
d.) Lastly, I never before laid eyes on Ruth Graham, Billy's wife. But as soon as I saw her picture yesterday, I decided she must have been a really special woman. First of all, she was wild for her hubby. Always a good sign. More importantly, she basically said HONEY... YOU GO DO YOUR MINISTRY. I'LL STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING KNOWN TO MANKIND. AND... I'LL AWAIT YOUR ARRIVAL BACK HERE, WELCOMING YOU WITH OPENED ARMS. No wonder Billy was crazy about her. Talk about the wife of the century! Secondly, I'm thinking that Billy must not have been so excellent in the kissing department. In an interview I heard, Ruth said that the first time he kissed her (is it possible it wasn't until they were engaged?? I heard correctly??) she felt like she was being swallowed up by Billy's kiss. Uh oh. Not a rave review, if you ask me. Which I'm thinking, means only one thing: no swallowing on HER part, if you get my drift. Of course, good kisser or not. Who can blame her?
a.) I'm freaked that while doing yoga a week ago, I apparently pulled a muscle in the back of my thigh and eeeks... IT STILL HURTS. Regardless, I've continued doing yoga each day, all the while, kind of praying the ache would mysteriously go away. But alas, the pain had only traveled further down my leg. Thus... for the first time in YEARS, I took a hot bath last night, hoping the moist heat would help ease the supposed muscle strain. Afterwards, I climbed into bed, turned on the TV and placed a heating pad under my leg. For added strength, I also downed two Advil. Guess what? IT WORKED. I woke up today and boom. As of yet, NO PAIN. Yippee.
b.) As we speak, I am listening to Court TV, which is airing the Mike Nifong trial. Which I figure is a waste of energy. Instead, defrock the guy of his license to practice and boom. It's over lickety split, with an outcome he justly deserves. And by the way.... while doing that, pardon Scooter Libby, please. He so doesn't deserve to do time. Dick Cheney, on the other hand?? Hang HIM. Actually, instead, merely shoot George Bush. Bingo. Poetic justice is in place.
c.) EEEKS. On Sunday, Dad's dog returns to live with me. For almost a month, no less. I can't decide which part I hate more. Claudia's going away for so long; or my having to walk the dog three times a day. If I had to choose, I guess I'd choose Claudia remaining here in lieu of heading to Australia. Which actually, would alleviate the dog problem 1-2-3.
d.) Lastly, I never before laid eyes on Ruth Graham, Billy's wife. But as soon as I saw her picture yesterday, I decided she must have been a really special woman. First of all, she was wild for her hubby. Always a good sign. More importantly, she basically said HONEY... YOU GO DO YOUR MINISTRY. I'LL STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING KNOWN TO MANKIND. AND... I'LL AWAIT YOUR ARRIVAL BACK HERE, WELCOMING YOU WITH OPENED ARMS. No wonder Billy was crazy about her. Talk about the wife of the century! Secondly, I'm thinking that Billy must not have been so excellent in the kissing department. In an interview I heard, Ruth said that the first time he kissed her (is it possible it wasn't until they were engaged?? I heard correctly??) she felt like she was being swallowed up by Billy's kiss. Uh oh. Not a rave review, if you ask me. Which I'm thinking, means only one thing: no swallowing on HER part, if you get my drift. Of course, good kisser or not. Who can blame her?
6/11/07
ADIOS ANTONIO
Wow. What a send off to one of my all time favorite TV shows... one that I've watched from the very beginning. Which is crazy, since I am SO not a lover of blood, gore and violence. Yet one look at Tony Soprano and I was hooked. I like his looks a lot and I think I also like the yin/yang of his character. One minute he can be a blood thirsty mobster and the next he can be a gentle lover to his wife and uh.... countless sluts. He was an emotional whack job, yes, but he was also a devoted father, raised by a lunatic mother, having been born into this family of crime. Did he ever have any choice BUT to be the head of the family? BOTH families?I can't beLIEVE the incredible ending to the series last night. An ending that one TV critic dubbed as FINALE-IST INTERRUPTUS. Boy, I'll say. I was wowed, freaked, confused and unnerved all at the same time. Most of all, I was delighted at the sheer brilliance I felt David Chase showed in leaving us SO in the lurch as to what the REAL conclusion was. Indeed, the ending of the show was basically... uh... no ending. A mean, dirty trick, granted, but I loved it regardless.
The rest of the country is up at arms over the way we were jilted at being deprived of being told how the Soprano Story concludes. Many are cancelling their HBO subscriptions. I too, felt as if I was taken to a new height and then left merely dangling for life, but then... I felt wow. What an ingenious way to suck us all in to Chase's never ending saga. As for canceling HBO... get real. No way THAT'S going to happen.
Trust me... I was sucked in. I was on the edge of my seat, feeling all of the paranoia Tony felt as to who's around the corner, who's going to do him in or who's going to turn him in. Of course, we'll never know now, unless it's true what the aficionado's say: that we'll only find out, once the movie was made. God, I hope they make a movie. I'll be right up there, front and center.
While the rest of the county is displeased at how the finale went down, MY biggest displeasure is now figuring out what show I'll be watching at 9:00 every Sunday night as I sit and fold my clothes. Will I ever find another show to hook me in the way the Soprano's did? Never. Will I be folding my laundry every Sunday night now? Uh... I'm thinking no. Which of course means my choice for clothing on Monday mornings will DEFinitely become a major problemo. In the meantime, I'll miss you, Tony... and to A.J.... Jesus, lighten up, will you, please.
6/7/07
SHE'S OUT???
Jesus... that didn't take long. One day I hear Paris is in the slammer. Next day I hear she's out. Oh sure... no preferential treatment for HER, I see. What a joke. The woman is a crazed lunatic if you ask me, whose sole purpose is to party down, drink up and basically spend money like there's no tomorrow.Granted, I'd sort of like that lifestyle, myself. But... given I can't have it, then why not mock those who do? Actually, the drinking I can bypass altogether, unless of course it's some sort of champagne. Doesn't even have to be pricey. As for the partying bit, I could handle that in doses, I guess. It's the spending money like water deal that actually attracts me most since in order to spend it, you've first got to have it and trust me... I'd LOVE to have it.
Anyway, I wonder how many cellmates first attended a huge awards program just before THEY headed to the clinker. My instincts tell me: none. Talk about a great send off. And, I'd have to imagine, the gals in black and white threads didn't give Paris the same sort of Bon Voyage celebration that Paris's friends did. I mean, the girl didn't even have time to actually MAKE any friends with whom to celebrate. Talk about easy come, easy go.
Okay, so Paris has some sort of "medical" condition for which she had to be discharged. Of course we have no clue what the condition might be nor how long it's been in place. Just promise me, she isn't forgoing serving out the rest of her sentence behind bars, due to some crazy ass reason like constipation, nightmares, claustrophobia or whatever.
Actually, all this isn't really funny. The be-yotch SHOULD have to do the time since she had no problem doing the crime. What? Her publicist didn't alert her to the rules of probation? Awww... poor baby. That alone, is reason she she should do the time IN jail as opposed to home, if you ask me. My thinking is: Anybody able to keep up with the lifestyle she's been living for the past 5 years, can SURELY be able to keep up the simplistic lifestyle of being behind bars. Ooops... I forgot. It's not THOSE bars she enjoys. Instead, its the bars that serve up liquor and play loud music that she so loves. And, don't forget, from where she likes to leave drunk to hop in a car to drive off.
So, basically, that's my take on the Woes of Paris. I have absolutely no compassion for the lady AT ALL. 1.) She doesn't follow rules like the rest of us plebeians. 2.) She's a weenie when it comes to accountability. 3.) She develops mysterious diseases when she's living amongst others. And, 4.) She has way too money, which alone, is enough for me to hate someone right off the bat. Talk about self absorbed! Uh... her, not me, by the way.
CLOSE TO HOME
In my younger days I loved to travel. Call me up, tell me we were headed for a great time somewhere hundreds of miles away, and boom. I was there. In more recent years however, traveling has become a major hassle for me to even contemplate. Nowadays, I have to begin the process by becoming my own online travel agent, a process I so don't like. Then, I have to make my own hotel and car reservations, check in an hour early, decipher the rules for carry on baggage, etc. etc. Which of course is why I normally much prefer to merely stick close to home and not worry about delays or about being blown up in terminals. Not to mention, in mid-air.
NOW, however, I have an even bigger reason to stay home. Get this... in an article I was reading the other day, there was a LONG list of things we should pack in preparation for travel. Apparently your clothing and personal items are no longer enough. NOW, if you're going to a hotel, you're supposed to... sitting down?... ALSO pack things like: your own sheets, your own pillow cases, your own disinfectant, your own flashlight (to check for bed bugs!!) and your own tissue/toilet paper!! The list goes on and on. WHAT? ARE THEY NUTS?? For THAT, I may as well stay home! Or, buy a ticket for my housekeeper so she can come along and do all the crap I hate doing in the first place. It's like: I have to TRAVEL to do housekeeping??
Geez.. I ALREADY do that right here at home, thus why even leave?? Besides, aren't hotels SUPPOSED to make their rooms all spiffy like so it'll be clean, germ free and convenient?? Don't they already hire hotel staff to take care of me like a Queen, while I'm paying for my stay? This is way outta control if you ask me. Oh yeah... In addition to setting up a second home, you're also supposed to bring your own seat cover and mask for the plane so you don't die from whatever disease the surrounding passengers are carrying. Oh God. A whole NEW worry with which I've now got to contend.
Okay, so I get it. Instead of traveling for fun and frolic, the travel industry is basically now telling me: DON'T GO. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. Where it's ALREADY cozy, clean and disease free. In other words: Stay Close to Home! Uh... damn right I will. Believe you me, I'm a quick study for these sort of deals. So, YOU travel. You send the postcards. You do the hotel housekeeping. And, you pay the hotels for the privilege of working for them. Not me. I'm going to sit right here and enjoy all the comforts of home. Literally.
NOW, however, I have an even bigger reason to stay home. Get this... in an article I was reading the other day, there was a LONG list of things we should pack in preparation for travel. Apparently your clothing and personal items are no longer enough. NOW, if you're going to a hotel, you're supposed to... sitting down?... ALSO pack things like: your own sheets, your own pillow cases, your own disinfectant, your own flashlight (to check for bed bugs!!) and your own tissue/toilet paper!! The list goes on and on. WHAT? ARE THEY NUTS?? For THAT, I may as well stay home! Or, buy a ticket for my housekeeper so she can come along and do all the crap I hate doing in the first place. It's like: I have to TRAVEL to do housekeeping??
Geez.. I ALREADY do that right here at home, thus why even leave?? Besides, aren't hotels SUPPOSED to make their rooms all spiffy like so it'll be clean, germ free and convenient?? Don't they already hire hotel staff to take care of me like a Queen, while I'm paying for my stay? This is way outta control if you ask me. Oh yeah... In addition to setting up a second home, you're also supposed to bring your own seat cover and mask for the plane so you don't die from whatever disease the surrounding passengers are carrying. Oh God. A whole NEW worry with which I've now got to contend.
Okay, so I get it. Instead of traveling for fun and frolic, the travel industry is basically now telling me: DON'T GO. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. Where it's ALREADY cozy, clean and disease free. In other words: Stay Close to Home! Uh... damn right I will. Believe you me, I'm a quick study for these sort of deals. So, YOU travel. You send the postcards. You do the hotel housekeeping. And, you pay the hotels for the privilege of working for them. Not me. I'm going to sit right here and enjoy all the comforts of home. Literally.
6/3/07
LIVID
I am furious. I am pissed. I'm also ready to blow my brains out. I just KNEW this was going to happen and I'm so damn mad, I can't tell you. Trust me... just be happy you're not with me right now. You'd see a side of me that doesn't occur very often but when it DOES, boy, you'd better step back.
What's also freaking me out is the REASON I'm so livid. It's a crazy one, I know, and you're going to tell me I'm outta my mind for being so pissed over something so silly. Actually, you're right. I AM outta my mind. But, not for the silliness of being so upset, but INSTEAD, because get this... my DAMN DVD WON'T GO BACK TO THE TV MODE. Quick. Get me the sledge hammer. I'm ready to bust the DVD player AND the TV into sheer smithereens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I shouldn't be so angered about such a stupid thing, but I AM FURIOUS nonetheless. I WANT MY TV BACK! On the double, too!
Plus, I just KNEW when my kid originally set it all up for me, the DVD and TV would work PERFECTLY while he was still here. Now that he's back at home, hundreds of miles away, EVERYTHING'S ALL SCREWED UP and I have NO F-ING CLUE HOW TO FIX IT. What a surprise. I've pushed every damn button known to man on every remote I have and STILL nothing is bringing my TV back. Sh#t. This is SO not the way I wanted to spend my evening.
Oh... and the caveat to it all?? Earlier I spoke to my kid, having had a perfectly wonderful conversation. Happy and carefree. Yippee. It was great speaking to you. Yada yada yada. But... a half hour later, when I called him to plead for techie help... NO DAMN ANSWER ON HIS PHONE!! He turned the friggin' thing off!!! Am so telling you... someone from up above must have given him a head's up. QUICK. AS A MEASURE OF SELF SURVIVAL, TURN OFF YOUR PHONE! ANY MINUTE NOW, A CRAZY ASS, RAVING LUNATIC OF A MOTHER IS GOING TO BE CALLING!! RUN FOR COVER.
Oh yeah... as a measure of my OWN self survival, by the way, I turned to a much better tactic. I turned to... what else... EATING EVERY DAMN THING I COULD POSSIBLY GET MY HANDS ON. Oh... and, for an added touch, ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT FILLED ME UP. I could easily keep stuffing my anger for the next 17 hours, and I'll bet I'd STILL be searching the cupboards, freezer and refrigerator. Geez. I'm so over the edge.
Bottom line? Now I've got TWO freakin' events making me nothing short of psychotic. The first, of course... the TV deal. And now, the second... not being able to reach my kid. Crap. I'm so not smiling. Apparently, I'm also not watching TV as I fall asleep tonight.
What's also freaking me out is the REASON I'm so livid. It's a crazy one, I know, and you're going to tell me I'm outta my mind for being so pissed over something so silly. Actually, you're right. I AM outta my mind. But, not for the silliness of being so upset, but INSTEAD, because get this... my DAMN DVD WON'T GO BACK TO THE TV MODE. Quick. Get me the sledge hammer. I'm ready to bust the DVD player AND the TV into sheer smithereens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I shouldn't be so angered about such a stupid thing, but I AM FURIOUS nonetheless. I WANT MY TV BACK! On the double, too!
Plus, I just KNEW when my kid originally set it all up for me, the DVD and TV would work PERFECTLY while he was still here. Now that he's back at home, hundreds of miles away, EVERYTHING'S ALL SCREWED UP and I have NO F-ING CLUE HOW TO FIX IT. What a surprise. I've pushed every damn button known to man on every remote I have and STILL nothing is bringing my TV back. Sh#t. This is SO not the way I wanted to spend my evening.
Oh... and the caveat to it all?? Earlier I spoke to my kid, having had a perfectly wonderful conversation. Happy and carefree. Yippee. It was great speaking to you. Yada yada yada. But... a half hour later, when I called him to plead for techie help... NO DAMN ANSWER ON HIS PHONE!! He turned the friggin' thing off!!! Am so telling you... someone from up above must have given him a head's up. QUICK. AS A MEASURE OF SELF SURVIVAL, TURN OFF YOUR PHONE! ANY MINUTE NOW, A CRAZY ASS, RAVING LUNATIC OF A MOTHER IS GOING TO BE CALLING!! RUN FOR COVER.
Oh yeah... as a measure of my OWN self survival, by the way, I turned to a much better tactic. I turned to... what else... EATING EVERY DAMN THING I COULD POSSIBLY GET MY HANDS ON. Oh... and, for an added touch, ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT FILLED ME UP. I could easily keep stuffing my anger for the next 17 hours, and I'll bet I'd STILL be searching the cupboards, freezer and refrigerator. Geez. I'm so over the edge.
Bottom line? Now I've got TWO freakin' events making me nothing short of psychotic. The first, of course... the TV deal. And now, the second... not being able to reach my kid. Crap. I'm so not smiling. Apparently, I'm also not watching TV as I fall asleep tonight.
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