Remember when I wrote about all my new techie like gadgets?? At least I THINK I wrote about it. It was about how I was pretty fully loaded now; for an old lady anyway. I've got a digital camera. I've got an iPod. I've got a Kindle. I've got an Android X. And I've even got an iPad, too. Am telling you... 43 chargers later, and boom. I'm ready to go.
On the other hand, I just recently got a really GREAT new little toy. It's a mini speaker... about 4 inches round and 3 inches high... for my iPod. SOOOO fantastic. First of all, it's tiny. Second of all, the volume blares which of course is perfect for heavy duty rock and roll. Third of all, the sound itself is excellent!! WHAT A GREAT INVENTION. Thank you so much Mr. iTour-POP. And even MORE thanks for costing only $25.00.
Normally, I have to have my iPod docked in its station on my nightstand, for me to be able to hear it. Or... it has to be plugged in with headphones. In which case only I could hear it. But NOW... the entire world can sing along with me, for I can bring this little gadget any damn place I want!! For EVERYone to hear. Good bye single users only. Now, anyone with ears can join in on the iPod listening pleasure.
Case in point: my iPod is on the kitchen counter as we speak. Connected to the baby speaker. I'm here at the computer, in my computer room. BINGO. I AM LISTENING TO MY ENTIRE PLAY LIST from two rooms over and am in major heaven. I'm telling you... this toy is the coolest of them all.
Should I want to go out to the deck for a whole big party, I'll even have musical entertainment out THERE, TOO. Or if I want to hook up this little speaker to my phone... boom. I'm carrying on a hands free conversation. Or, if I want to have my downloaded books read to me in the family room... bingo. I'm plugged in. Get this... I could even use it at work!! Which of course I'd never consider since I'm definitely anti-work at this point in my life. But still...WHAT COULD BE BETTER??
Well, for one... it could be WAY better if I could actually send a text message in less than 14 minutes. Seriously... those teeny tiny keys are made for three year olds! What?? The Android has something against raised baby buttons to help me actually press the correct letter??? Apparently not.
Now THIS is what I call a match made in heaven. Young. Stunning. Famous. And naturally, Filthy Rich. Not to mention... they will one day be ruling a rather large realm. SO up my alley!
I just can't believe it... I'm so screwed. Why?? Because I'll be LONG GONE when this fantastic power couple... William and Kate... will ascend the throne!! Talk about missing the event of the century! Oh man. How can God even DO this to me?? This lavish little party is going to be SOOO regal, so stunning, and so majestic that whammo.... it's guaranteed to be SOME spectacle, believe you me. Therefore, since I won't be around for the big event, I decided... what the hell. I'll create one of my own! Much tinier scale, true. But, lots of fun, regardless.
So last April I hosted a Pre Wedding Royal Luncheon. WHAT A DAY. I was in my total glory, doing two of my most favorite things in life. 1.) Lunching at the Country Club and 2.) talking all about Royalty! Totally my cup of tea.
My guests kinda really got into all this, too. As in: Teddi came dressed looking EXACTLY like Queen Elizabeth II. Monica came looking EXACTLY like Camilla. I came dressed wearing my favorite tiara. Many others came decked out in their most appropriate hats, gloves, etc. And... uh... thankfully no one came dressed like Beatrice or Eugenie. What was WITH those two, by the way?? Have they NO mirrors whatsoever?? OMG... I'd soooo like to become their personal dresser. In no time at all, I'd have them looking spiffy as shit. As opposed to... merely LOOKing like shit. Whatever.
In the meantime... my friends and I had our own little celebration and I've kinda got to tell you... I think the Royals might have been minor-ly impressed. Well, okay. They could give a damn, but WE certainly did.
I went the night before and did all the set ups and tablescapes, so we'd all know we were dining in royalty. I had deep regal purple silk rose petals strewn amongst the table settings. I had diamond studded gold cardboard crowns upon every plate. I had HUGE gem stoned rings for all the napkin holders and to top it all off, I had a long table for the big monarchy posters, showing: who was who, in their order of reign, and what monarch was married to what consort. Plus, I had hordes of Majesty magazines strewn all over the place, in case anyone decided this was so boring, they needed to sit in a corner and read all about the life of William from his birth to his college days. All in all... it was hard to miss the fact we were dining regally.
I loved giving my own little personal infomercial on all the crap I know about the Monarchs and was happy to answer questions. I know LOTS about LOTS about these folks but I do have to say... my favorite monarch is probably Queen Victoria. Am not sure exactly why, but I DO love the idea that because of all her kiddies having married OTHER royalty... boom. Next thing you know.. EVERY king, queen, prince or princess in Europe was pretty much directly related to Grammy Vicky. Talk about a family tree!!
I also love palaces, tremendous wealth, and definitely having servants around catering to my every want and need. Am not so crazy however, about all the freaks that come about from too much intermarriage. Case in point: Duke of Windsor. That's a whole other story, however. For now...
CONGRATULATIONS WILLIAM AND KATHERINE. Long live the King. Granted, I may not be with them for the actual crowning, given I'll be long gone, BUT believe you me, I'll surely be there in spirit. Uh... literally.
