GROCERY LISTS

Sherry runs around almost every minute of every day. She lives the exact opposite of me. Sherry? She has 35 places to be on any given day. Me? I plan on being in no more than two. And often, even THAT is pushing it a bit. Anyway, I guess it often times catches up with Sherry, because both her doctors AND the Linda School of Diseases, agree that she contracted not only pneumonia, but contracted it probably because she likes to get way too much into any single day. Consequently, poor Sherry is now at home for a few more weeks, recuperating from the pneumonia.

Which brings me to: How can I help? I called Sherry last week and reminded her that Pat does my grocery shopping on Mondays. Thus, if she could give me a list, I'd be HAPPY to have Pat pick up her groceries and we'd get the items to her house lickety split. Which is exactly what we did. Pat bought everything on MY list and boom! Pat then bought everything on Sherry's list. Yippee. Mission accomplished. And, just for good measure I didn't even allow Sherry to reimburse me for the groceries, given it's GOT to be bad karma to collect money from the infirmed. And believe me, I'm way into good vibes.

Okay... so once again, its Monday. Hence, I called Sherry today to get THIS week's list. Which is the entire point of my entry. You should have SEEN the difference in our shopping habits! It was startling. SHERRY'S list was perfect... low-fat cheese, no-fat crackers, no diet soda at all, salad, blueberries, etc. etc. She is apparently, a nutritionists' dreamgirl! ME, on the other hand... man... the nutritionist would shoot me in a f-ing heartbeat! MY list read more like: ice cream, Chips Ahoy, Ruffles, diet cokes and Snicker Bars. Seriously. All those things were actually on my list! EEKS. My mother would have completely freaked, not to mention my 9th grade Home Ec teacher.

In my defense, however, I do have to say, I DID get salad and cheese (but not low-fat) and I even got Lite Fruit Cocktail for my cottage cheese meals. But regardless, my GOD, the difference in the two lists were borderline laughable! Can you beLIEVE it? Geez. I'll have to remember this, when I'm on the stretcher, headed to open heart surgery. Oh yeah. Wait. Get this... while I was writing down Sherry's list, she was telling me all about food items she actually had to throw out, given they were not "healthy". Translation: Everything I of course liked! Very concerned, I immediately told Sherry, NO! Don't throw them out! Please. You'll need them for when I come to visit! Basically, my thinking was: Hey... just because YOU don't to eat crap, doesn't mean I don't.

Which is a pretty good rule for ALL my friends, now that I think about it. By all means, buy whatever doctor recommended, healthy food items you want. Stick close to your diet, for sure. Follow every nutritionist's menu you want. But... PLEASE ...don't make ME follow it, too! I guess I kinda LIKE poison. Unlike Sherry, who threw away the poison regardless of my plea. Damnit.