NOT TODAY

Yesterday, I decided it's finally happened. I'm over the edge from all the stress of handling my Dad and his affairs. I know the precise moment it occurred and I basically wanted to collapse in my bed and cry for maybe five minutes. But... I couldn't. The timing would have been off, given Claudia was here to help me get papers organized for Dad's accountant, so it would have really wasted some valuable time. Consequently, I had to postpone my impending break down.

What I DID do, however, was get into bed very early last night... and was somewhat nicely diverted by Boston Legal, which I must say was excellent. It was thoroughly enjoyable. I then turned on some sitcom deal and boom. Next thing I knew, I was asleep. Then, of course, I woke up today.

I remember thinking: Yep... today is the day. I'm about to actually take a step over to the other side of the edge, which was pretty much in keeping with the emotional numbness I was feeling, mere moments into my awakening. This is so unlike me, which was all the MORE reason I'm giving credence to the fact I've about reached my limit. Regardless, I decided that IF I'm to make a reservation at the Funny Farm, then I should probably get dressed so I can enter the facility looking somewhat decent. But... guess what?

For some reason, after I did my makeup and hair and put on my clothing, I looked in the mirror and discovered: Whoa. Today is a real, live, kinda THIN day! Whoops. Time out... maybe I shouldn't rush off to the institution so damn fast, after all. What a waste it would be!! I mean really... don't inmates normally look rather CRAPPY upon their arrival??

Just my luck... today I look a couple pounds thinner than a few days ago. Dammit. Talk about putting a major glitch into one's plans. And, I'm wearing a sort of pretty, new shirt for the very first time. I'm so telling you... this outfit actually looks GREAT. Way too nice for meeting my future roommates. Exactly WHY I should be having a thin day, I can't really say. After all, I've had a bottomless pit the past three days. Honest. I never once walked into the kitchen and not grabbed SOMEthing to pop into my mouth. Thus, to my way of thinking... either God wants me to look rather stunning when I turn myself in OR he wants me to make through another day before I totally cave. Gee... I think I'll go with the latter. Besides, tomorrow I might get up and feel just as crappy, AND will look a mess. Bingo. THEN I can head over to my new digs.