HE/SHE

The other night I was out with some friends and one of the gents got sort of pissed at me for making, what he felt, were sexist comments. Case in point: I stated my opinion whereby it occurred to me, that according to the Linda School of Statistics, women can retain WAY more phone numbers in their head than men can. David wasn't particularly thrilled with my theory, but to tell you the truth, I really do believe it. Sexist or not.

I reached my phone number conclusion for several reasons, but upper most, was my amazement at just how many numbers I myself know by heart. It's a boat load, believe me. I know all my friends' numbers, my family members' numbers and I even remember the numbers of people whom I knew while still living in Florida. To futher my point... I not only memorized a lot of everyone's home phones, but a lot of their cell phones, too! I'm telling you... the list goes on and on. Of course this is coming from a woman who can NEVER recall to whom I wrote the last check, should I have forgotten to write it down in the register. But, so be it. Regardless, my contention is simple: men simply don't mentally store this ever important phone info NEARly as well as women. Nor as accurately. Okay... so sue me. I'm apparently sexist.

However, to make matters worse... today I was wrapping a birthday gift for a friend of mine. I'll soon be headed to her celebration luncheon which you just KNOW I'm going to adore, given I already know what I'm ordering. The Reuben Sandwich! One of my all time favorites. Anyway, as I was wrapping the lovely present, I was thinking: now HERE is something I DEFintely believe women do better than men. I mean it... have you SEEN how most men do the wrapping?? Seriously... I'm thinking I can do a WAY better job than most men. Well, men I know, anyway. Now, I am not saying there aren't SOME men who can make a gift look perfectly presentable, nor am I saying men comPLETEly screw up the wrappings. But.. I do have to admit... I'll take on a gentleman ANY day; and if you're smart... you'll put your money on ME. I can almost assure you - I'll win.

I WON'T win at arm wrestling, however. Nor will I win at catching a baseball, especially since I'm not ever sure on which hand to wear a baseball mitt. Further, I won't even ENter a contest when it comes to taking out the garbage, given basically, yes. That's a task about which I'm a major sexist and cite THIS particular chore as indeed, a job for men only. HONEY, HERE'S THE RULE: YOU TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE. I'LL DO THE IRONING. End of discussion.

Unless of course there IS no man at home, in which case, I'll have to do both. And, yes... I'll do the gift wrapping, too.