CHUBB-ETTE

This is so not good. I'll bet that in the last month, I've gained 5 lbs! EEEKS And trust me... I look every bit of it. How do I know? Because... I was trying to find something sort of nice to wear tonight. Care to guess just how many outfits I needed to test out before I concluded: WHOA. I'M JUST TOO CHUBBY! Oh man. This is SOOO setting me back in the diet department!

I'm probably the only woman in America who would NEVER get on a scale. Nor would I ever own one. Even at the doctors, I make them prove to me exactly WHY I need to get weighed and if I don't find their reasoning completely acceptable, I merely tell them: SORRY, CHARLIE. NO CAN DO. Jesus... why go out of my way to PURPOSELY ruin a good day? On the other hand, now that I think about it, I probably SHOULD have stepped up to the scale, for maybe then, I'd have stopped stuffing my face these past few weeks. Then again... maybe not.

The problem seems to be that I am NEVER full. I could eat and eat and eat. And, apparently, I've done just that. The mothers way back in the 50's who used to tell us about poor, starving children in Europe would be mighty proud of how I'm cleaning my plate lately. Of course my OWN Mother would have wanted to shoot me.

I've been way off my game lately, so maybe that's why I have a bottomless pit. Yet, slowly but surely, I think maybe I'm coming back into the real world. Hence, maybe I'll be able to tone down my eating habits. What?? EVERYone doesn't have a bag of Fritos lying right next to their bed?? On the other hand, I'll have to go heavy into COTTAGE CHEESE AND FRUIT pretty damn soon, I see. Sort of like a food give and take game I play with myself.

I can't quite let the games begin YET, however. Not before Sunday. That's when I'm headed over to a birthday party at one of my favorite morning's Brunch. If you think I'm going to Brunch just to fill up on salad and fruit, you SO don't know me. Those foods I can eat at home. But, Eggs Benedict, sliced roast beef, fancy schmancy potatoes, delectable pastries, whatever... THOSE foods I'll down with delight, no holds barred.

Bottom line: I guess I'll be hanging out in my CHUBBY CLOTHES for another few days, yet. Which is a perfectly good reason to never throw out your ONE SIZE BIGGER wardrobe. You just never know when you'll need to revert to comfort clothing after downing PLENTY of comfort foods.