STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

Growing up, I lived in a home where the master suite was on the ground floor. MY room however, was on the second floor. Thus, I've been climbing stairs from as far back as I can remember. The master suite of my parent's present home is also on the ground floor. Which means, once again, I was climbing stairs to get to what used to be "my" room. However, in this newer house, the spiraling staircases are separated by a big entry hall; meaning there are two stair cases with which to contend. Which of course presented quite a dilemma for me. Which one to use for going up? Which one for coming down? And, can one of them be used for both?

The answer of course is NO. In my mind, only one staircase can be used for one direction. Meaning, you can only go up on one and only come down on the other. It's a kind of law to which I religiously adhere no matter where I am. Upon refection, I think this law came from my days in Junior High School. The rule in B Building, where almost all 7th grade classes were held, was: Go up on one side of the hallway and come down on the other side. I guess this one directional flow helped move the students along without too much traffic/body crashing.

I think about this Junior High School law every day when I now go to work. My present classroom is on the second floor hence there are two staircases, each separated by again, a big entryway. My personal law for getting to my classroom is simple... go up on the left staircase, come down on the right. Any other way of travel is not even up for consideration.

What really gets me, though, is how everyone ELSE using these staircases has no clue about the up/down directional law. THEY use either staircase no matter WHICH direction they're going. And, often... they use the same one for BOTH directions. Yikes. They never HEARD of the Stairway Law? Whoa. That's amazing to me. Talk about tempting the hands of Stairway Gods!

Besides, I bet these other law-breaking teachers and students don't suffer from the peri-menopausal disease that I now do. It popped up right out of the f-ing blue: Fear of escalators. IT'S CRAZY, I know. But truly, it's a real disease! And, it presented itself right out of NOWHERE. One day, I'm happily stepping onto a down escalator, and boom. The next day I'm a frozen idiot. I CAN'T MOVE. I CAN'T TAKE THE FIRST STEP. I CAN'T GET ON. I'M DOOMED FOR LIFE. Pay me a million dollars, and I swear, I simply can't get on a down escalator. I haven't gone down one for YEARS, now. Don't ask. It's a major hassle but there's just no overcoming this disease.

One day, I'll have to tell you the story of it's onset. But for now, you can just imagine how THRILLED I am that school has stairs to climb rather than an escalator to ride. In SPITE of how my knees creak with every ascending step. And... reGARDless of who is or who isn't following stairway laws.