LEGGS

A crazy thing is happening to me.... I'm losing weight. However, that's not the craziest part. The TRUE craziness is that I'm losing weight IN MY CALVES. And, in my thighs, too. Huh?? People actually lose WEIGHT there?

I'm almost beginning to wonder if maybe I have some horrible life threatening disease because really... in a matter of a month, today it was confirmed: I've gone down an ENTIRE dress size. Now THERE'S a first. There are a few possible explanations up for consideration, but since this is SUCH an astonishing phenomenon I decided it doesn't even matter WHY.

If only my Mother were still alive. Being way more vain than I, she'd take one look at me right now now and boom. She'd start tap dancing all over the place in a matter of minutes. All over the city, too. For, I think my mother was always a bit disappointed that while the shapeliness SHE was hoping for was along the lines of svelte, the shapeliness I was sporting inSTEAD, was more along the lines of oh... I don't know... BULKY maybe??

On the other hand, my Mother always adored my face. And, my legs. So, if only she were here tonight, I'd have to ask her what the hell is going on with my calves and thighs. EEKS. THEY NO LONGER FIT into my curent, beautifully selected, colorful and seasonal LEG WARDROBE! This can really happen??? My legs are becoming anorexic??

Apparently, my legs have simply become wayyyy to slim for 1.) my knee high socks to stay up, over my calves, and for 2.) my thigh high stockings to stop drooping south. Jesus. Of all the places to lose weight, THIS is where it's choosing to occur??

As it happens, tonight is the second anniversary of the death of my Mother. In her memory, I'm going to services as well as providing the delicious refreshments after the service. And, guess what? I've now BECOME my Mother!!

You should see me. I have on a stunning knee length dress. I'm wearing heels with beautiful cream colored stockings. I'm wearing patent leather open toe shoes, just like Mom always did, when putting on the ritz. I'm also wearing some of my favorite glitzy jewelry... an exquiste cocktail ring she gave me long ago. My hair and makeup are impeccable and one look at me, and I'm so telling you... my Mother would kvell. I can hear her right now... YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. Of course, that's a mother speaking, but boy, would she be proud. I miss my mother alot. But, in all fairness it's not only because she was such a good, loving mother to me. I miss her for what she may also consider even more important... BECAUSE SHE CAN'T SEE ME ALL DOLLED UP TONIGHT! Dolled up AND weight loss. Now, for what more could a mother ask?