CURIOUS GEORGE

Many years ago, I heard George Carlin give his ever popular theory about recycling. If you're interested in leaning about it, by the way, Google THE PLANET IS FINE and boom. You'll get his complete take on the subject. I heard it way back when... at the beginning of the recycling surge, and I am sorry to say, I was one of the ones who, to this day, consider recycling... well, in a manner of speaking... garbage.

Now, I'm not saying its not a GOOD thing to recycle, but it IS, on several levels, a major pain the ass. Which of course is why I was thrilled to no end, to hear George's take on it. He kinda made me think: maybe I don't have to feel all that guilty AFTER all. His basic premise is: the earth has undergone MUCH worse ordeals than plastic, styrofoam, etc. He sites ice ages, volcanoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, and a whole slew of other disasters. And, basically, regardless of the different kinds of onslaughts the earth has encountered, it has, nevertheless, fared pretty damn well. In fact, George ends his whole ranting by simply stating that it's not the earth that's all screwed up... instead, it's we HUMANS who are.

Anyway... taking Carlin's advice, I never really got into the blue boxes at the edge of the driveway bit. If I didn't already have his approach in mind, I can tell you this... I have my own. I'M TOO DAMN LAZY. Okay... so that's not something I'm particularly proud of. But, add to that... SPACE LIMITS in my kitchen and hallways and bingo. Where the hell am I supposed to STORE everything until pickup day, anyway?? I envision having 14 different bags all over the kitchen just to HOLD all the crapola. SO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Well, maybe. The other day I got a little friendly letter from my city's recycling program. Apparently it's come to their attention I'm like the only one in the city who doesn't comply with the recycling guidelines. EEEKS. Naturally, I called them and right off the bat, my first question was: HEY... ISN'T THIS LIKE A VOLUNTARY PROGRAM?? As in: we don't HAVE to do it?? Well, yes, it is voluntary, BUT... if I DON'T participate, uh... get this.. I have to PAY. Are you KIDDING ME?? I have to pay to have them NOT STOP AT MY DRIVEWAY? Pay for them to NOT EXERT THE EXTRA EFFORT?? Or not make them take the extra time??

Whoa. Something smells mighty fishy, here, if you ask me. And trust me... it's not my trash.

So... I now have a dilemma going on here. To pay or not to pay? Cause a community ruckus or not cause one? Go along with George Carlin or not go along with him? BE A LOSER CITIZEN IN MY TOWN or not be one??

Oh man... I so wished he were still among us. I'd write him so fast for advice, it'd make your head spin. I'm definitely curious as what he might tell me. ESPECIALLY since just today, the recycling dept. delivered two brand spanking new recycle boxes to my front door. Which apparently gives a whole new meaning to: ONE MAN'S TRASH IS ANOTHER MAN'S TREASURE. WWGD, anyway??