In my younger days I loved to travel. Call me up, tell me we were headed for a great time somewhere hundreds of miles away, and boom. I was there. In more recent years however, traveling has become a major hassle for me to even contemplate. Nowadays, I have to begin the process by becoming my own online travel agent, a process I so don't like. Then, I have to make my own hotel and car reservations, check in an hour early, decipher the rules for carry on baggage, etc. etc. Which of course is why I normally much prefer to merely stick close to home and not worry about delays or about being blown up in terminals. Not to mention, in mid-air.
NOW, however, I have an even bigger reason to stay home. Get this... in an article I was reading the other day, there was a LONG list of things we should pack in preparation for travel. Apparently your clothing and personal items are no longer enough. NOW, if you're going to a hotel, you're supposed to... sitting down?... ALSO pack things like: your own sheets, your own pillow cases, your own disinfectant, your own flashlight (to check for bed bugs!!) and your own tissue/toilet paper!! The list goes on and on. WHAT? ARE THEY NUTS?? For THAT, I may as well stay home! Or, buy a ticket for my housekeeper so she can come along and do all the crap I hate doing in the first place. It's like: I have to TRAVEL to do housekeeping??
Geez.. I ALREADY do that right here at home, thus why even leave?? Besides, aren't hotels SUPPOSED to make their rooms all spiffy like so it'll be clean, germ free and convenient?? Don't they already hire hotel staff to take care of me like a Queen, while I'm paying for my stay? This is way outta control if you ask me. Oh yeah... In addition to setting up a second home, you're also supposed to bring your own seat cover and mask for the plane so you don't die from whatever disease the surrounding passengers are carrying. Oh God. A whole NEW worry with which I've now got to contend.
Okay, so I get it. Instead of traveling for fun and frolic, the travel industry is basically now telling me: DON'T GO. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. Where it's ALREADY cozy, clean and disease free. In other words: Stay Close to Home! Uh... damn right I will. Believe you me, I'm a quick study for these sort of deals. So, YOU travel. You send the postcards. You do the hotel housekeeping. And, you pay the hotels for the privilege of working for them. Not me. I'm going to sit right here and enjoy all the comforts of home. Literally.
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