MEET THE EXPERT

Yippee. My second Monday without having to go to work. I definitely love this deal. Where I DO have to go, however, is to an appointment with my financial advisor. Which is pretty funny, since before the guy can advise me on how to handle my monies, I first have to actually HAVE monies. Therein lies the glitch.

Every time I meet with him, he asks me about my total financial picture, to which I always answer: There IS no picture. I kinda like telling him, go on the basis there is nothing in the pot and then bingo. Let's work from there. He helped me with refinancing my home a few years ago, and again, that's what we'll be addressing today.

I remember the day I first bought my home and walked into it, after the closing. My first announcement was: SO... IT'S A GOOD THING I LIKE THIS PLACE, GIVEN I'LL PROBABLY BE STARING AT IT FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS! And, it's true... I DO like my house. A lot. Of course, I'd probably love a much LARGer home, but then I'd have to pay much larger costs to purchase and/or run one. Funny how the banks, utilities, etc. like you to pay them off. The good news however, is that my advisor has now moved up the ranks, so to speak, thus he'll be able to make a supposedly really good deal for me without having to get "approval" from higher ups. I consider that something which definitely works in my favor.

Which reminds me... I'm always a little bit baffled by financial experts. To my way of thinking, if they are such great experts, why the heck aren't all financial advisors like FILTHY RICH? You'd have to imagine that they have a MAjor heads up on what's what with making money, thus they should all be so damn wealthy, that they'd not even need to be showing up at the office. Instead, they should be BUYING the office.

Besides, if I'm going to be investing any mula and then for some reason, lose it after following the advice of an expert, I'd SO be on the warpath. I don't do well with lost bucks. I love when these guys tell me they have no crystal balls to guarantee their projected returns, because as it happens, guarantees are EXACTLY what I'm looking for.

All in all, however, it works out pretty well in the end, I guess. If I don't have monies to invest... then boom. I don't lose any monies by investing. Which reminds me... I need to go surf the web and see how old I need be, to withdraw IRA monies without incurring any penalties. I bet I wind up being the only woman in America to PRAY I'm old. Old enough for IRA's, MEDICARE and SENIOR CITIZEN PLANE TICKETS. Uh... the airlines even OFFER that anymore??