HOUSE OF PLENTY

See this picture? It definitely makes me wonder whether or not I'm nuts. Like, is it an okay thing for me to be housing this much food?? EEEKS. I can't believe it... apparently at any given moment, I could easily host a dinner party for 10 without EVER going to the grocery store. Where I never go, anyway.

But, Pat does. She's my housekeeper and every Wednesday I give her my list of things to buy. I include only those items which I either like to keep as staples, or items I know I'll be needing for a special reason. Note, by the way, that yes, I consider Double Stuffed Oreos a staple; but also note the 2 containers of cottage cheese and 4 containers of yogurt. THOSE staples are part of my meals during school days. Throw in a Granny Smith apple and a Diet Coke and boom. I'm fed for the work day. Well, at least part of it, anyway; every once in a while I get this major urge to run to the cafeteria and buy one their HUGE Nutty Butty ice cream cones.

In the meantime, I have a great set up with Pat. I give her my credit card (why not accumulate flight miles?) and my shopping list and off she goes, doing the job I so detest. Turns out this week, about a zillion items were on Special. Thus, I got at least 5 cell phone calls from Pat, telling me about the special pricings, wanting to know if I wanted to be an educated consumer. Ground beef was on sale; Ruffles with Ridges were on sale. Fritos, too, were on sale. The list goes on and on. Next thing I know, Pat comes back home with BAGS AND BAGS AND BAGS of food. Talk about enough to feed an army!

Before I allowed any of the new items to be placed in the refrigerator and/or freezer however, I first asked Pat to wash and clean it. And then to please organize it. And, then of course, restock it. I could see I needed to start from Step One. And, since my mother always taught me to begin every kitchen project with a clean slate, we began with a clean refrigerator.

When all was said and done, I was so damn struck with the amount of contents for one small, baby sized house. Like, how many people am I feeding here, anyway? Well, yeah, I took advantage of some great savings, but I also now have enough food for all my neighbors within sight range of every one of my kitchen windows and doors. COME ON OVER, FOLKS. NO NEED TO RUN TO THE STORE. WHY, YOU CAN SHOP RIGHT HERE, FROM MY VERY OWN REFRIGERATOR, INSTEAD!

And...get this. What you don't see are the bottom drawers filled to the limits with apples, grapefruits, oranges, cheese, salad fixings, etc. Which kinda scares me since, I don't even want to beGIN to address what's housed in the pantry. Bottom line:

For any immigrant just arriving in America, wanting to know if our streets are in fact, paved with gold, all I can say is: COME OVER TO THE HOUSE OF PLENTY. They'll have their answer lickey split.