A WOMAN CRAZED

Maniacal. Suicidal. Confrontational. Enraged. Insane. Furious. And, oh yeah... Livid. Uh... you get the point.

I was OUT OF MY MIND today and am this far from shouting like an F-ing mad woman, should anyone cross my path. I CAN'T BELIEVE what the tech support at BellSouth put me through today. I don't even have the will to tell you about it. Were I to relive the saga via the written word, I might go out, buy a shot gun and do myself in.

Suffice it to say, after 3 and a half hours ON THE G/D PHONE with BellSouth, I finally had had it and let all hell break loose. As in: raised my voice, swore like a sailor, and carried on like a major idiot. UP to that point, I had behaved like a darling, little debutante/socialite. But, after reaching my breaking point.... whoa. My sanity went into a complete meltdown mode, and I was quickly up for a part in the Exorcist.

Okay... so once they realized they were dealing a lady from Rosemary's Baby, the people at BellSouth THEN decided to send someone out IMMEDIATELY to see what the hell the trouble with my DSL line was all about. Of course at FIRST, they wanted to send me a new modem via second day mail to which I said... OH NO, YOU F-ING WON'T. You send it to me NEXT DAY MAIL, ONLY!! Oh, okay... hold on one second, Miss Crazy Ass Lady... let me check with my supervisor.

The supervisor must have had an EAR FULL from the tech lady to whom I spoke for three hours, because like I said, the next thing I know, they tell me, they're going to send a REAL LIVE PERSON out to my house TODAY, sometime before five. Finally. They got the message; this was no ORdinary lunatic bitch. Wanna guess how long the Real Live Person was here, trying to fix things?? Think: 3 MORE G/D hours!! Finnnnnnally... the guy says: Okay, maybe it IS a faulty modem, after all. DUH. Damn RIGHT it is.

Boom. New modem. Problem solved. And... it shocks me to no end that it was done before I actually STRANGLED THE GUY. I am soooo telling you. Even now, over two hours later, I'M STILL in a state of fury. Which reminds me... impressed with my anger management skills?? Uh... me neither. It was embarrassing, let me tell you. BUT, on the other hand... talk about being pushed to the point of no return.

Okay. Maybe I'm beginning to calm down a bit. I'm not a 100% sure yet, but maybe. Slowly but surely, anyway. Hopefully, calm enough to get BellSouth... I mean, the new AT&T... to give me some free month's credit in turn for my not blowing up their office. Which would have been a big problem... the office to which I was speaking the very first three hour go around was located in... get this... the Phillipines. Hence....not only federal law troubles, but I assume international, as well.

Bottom line: Good bye $60 monthly cable line bill... hello DSL line at half the cost. See? There really IS a silver lining to any cloud. Man. Thank God THIS day is over.