I was dealing with an idiot today. Being pretty much astute, I spotted the trait as soon as the guy called, to say he was on his way. In fact, I'd almost bet that even any 10 year old would have been able to spot it right off the bat, as well. That's the bad news.The good news is, the guy was on his way to install my satellite dish. Trust me... I PRAYED I could have had another installer, but since I've been down this road many times before, I KNEW it'd be another week before I viewed television, should I decide to change technicians. Thus... what to do? Go with the idiot, not go with him? Call the installation company, not call? WHAT?
As it happened, I rolled the dice, risked it all, and allowed the idiot to proceed with his work at hand. Don't ask.
Of course, I IMMEDIATELY began a conversation, gently asking this guy about his previous experience in installing dishes. Turns out he worked for the No. 2 company for about 4 years. Then, switched to the No. 1 company (which I'm using) about 3 years ago. Having an agenda in mind, I asked Charles why he left No. 2... knowing in my gut they let him go, given he's... well... an idiot! Of course Charles didn't own up to such a reason, but I knew it, nontheless. Instead, he went into some sort of song and dance about how the other dishes weren't reliable, there was no comparison in quality, his being sent all over the country at his own gas expense, etc. etc. and thus he left. Yeah, right. Believe me... my gut was right on target. No matter what the guy claims, he didn't quit... THEY FIRED HIM! And here are some reasons why.
The first problem for ole Charlie here, was that my HUGE tv was still in it's box. OF COURSE IT WAS. How could it not be? I COULD LIFT THE BOX, LET ALONE THE TV, ALL BY MYSELF?? Jesus. Get real. I can't even put my ARMS around the box. Anyway, after some grumbling on his part, I told him: Okay. Forget it. You dont' have to help me get it out... I'll enlist the help of the other workman next door, knowing full well, they'd do it for me in a JIFFY. Sure enough, I got their help and Bingo. All tv's were out of their boxes, ready to go. F Charles.
Next thing I know, I was asking Chuck to please be careful when handling the tv, thus, please move them by the base of the set rather than the top of the screen. To which he replied: See? This is why I don't like touching the televisions, lest I cause any damage to them or something. HUH?? YOU DON'T HANDLE THE TV SET?? YET THIS IS YOUR JOB?? Are you F-ing KIDDING me?? It's your JOB to handle tv's! You can well imagine my NEXT reply to the idiot: WELL, GEE..HERE'S A BIT OF ADVICE, MY FRIEND. THEN DONT INSTALL DISHES FOR A LIVING!! Are you nuts??? As I saw it, Charlie was basically saying that a carpenter should tell a builder... yes, I'll build your cabinets, alright, but I'll be damned if you think I'm actually inSTALLing them, lest I damage your walls!! MY GOD... can you imagine what the builder would say to such thinking? Oh... okay. I'll merely run out and hire a completely DIFFERENT person just to push the cabinets up against the wall since I soooo love racking up my payroll costs. Whatever.
So next dilema. Apparently the brand of television I bought didn't show up on the code screen, rendering Charlie (who is becoming more like Charles the Chimp by the minute) completely baffled as to how to figure out the code for programming the remote. At which point, he calls me over and tells me: SORRY, LADY. YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO USE THIS TV. THE REMOTE CODE ISN'T LISTED. As soon as I heard this out of his mouth, I determined ONCE AGAIN, he was an idiot. So... I told him: Call your office and FIND OUT THE DAMN CODE! Further,
I questioned him: Are you REALLY telling me that you think every tv known to man is listed on that screen?? You don't KNOW that there are a zillion OTHER codes for all tv's not listed onscreen?? As in: You don't know to CALL YOUR OFFICE AND ASK FOR ADDITIONAL CODES?? Even I know that you can locate the answer with a mere phone call. Christ. I was so losing it. In fact, it was at THIS point, I decided I had better down an Ativan, given I was beginning to want to STRANGLE THE CHIMP. Oh..by the way... I DID call his office... and get this. They gave us the code! Duh.
I won't bore you with the rest of the idiotic tales I could relate. It would take WAY to long. Suffice it to say, that Yeah, Mr. Monkey certainly was the one climbing on the rooftop to plant the dish. But I did all the resolving of issues in making sure the signal was cooperating with the operation of the tv set. Besides, just as things were getting REALLY hairy, YIPPEE! ZACHARY ARRIVED! I hugged him, kissed him, held him, and then boom! I said... Here, Zachary... you love zoos. YOU go talk to Charles! I've had ENOUGH of the idiot.
Of course, I IMMEDIATELY began a conversation, gently asking this guy about his previous experience in installing dishes. Turns out he worked for the No. 2 company for about 4 years. Then, switched to the No. 1 company (which I'm using) about 3 years ago. Having an agenda in mind, I asked Charles why he left No. 2... knowing in my gut they let him go, given he's... well... an idiot! Of course Charles didn't own up to such a reason, but I knew it, nontheless. Instead, he went into some sort of song and dance about how the other dishes weren't reliable, there was no comparison in quality, his being sent all over the country at his own gas expense, etc. etc. and thus he left. Yeah, right. Believe me... my gut was right on target. No matter what the guy claims, he didn't quit... THEY FIRED HIM! And here are some reasons why.
The first problem for ole Charlie here, was that my HUGE tv was still in it's box. OF COURSE IT WAS. How could it not be? I COULD LIFT THE BOX, LET ALONE THE TV, ALL BY MYSELF?? Jesus. Get real. I can't even put my ARMS around the box. Anyway, after some grumbling on his part, I told him: Okay. Forget it. You dont' have to help me get it out... I'll enlist the help of the other workman next door, knowing full well, they'd do it for me in a JIFFY. Sure enough, I got their help and Bingo. All tv's were out of their boxes, ready to go. F Charles.
Next thing I know, I was asking Chuck to please be careful when handling the tv, thus, please move them by the base of the set rather than the top of the screen. To which he replied: See? This is why I don't like touching the televisions, lest I cause any damage to them or something. HUH?? YOU DON'T HANDLE THE TV SET?? YET THIS IS YOUR JOB?? Are you F-ing KIDDING me?? It's your JOB to handle tv's! You can well imagine my NEXT reply to the idiot: WELL, GEE..HERE'S A BIT OF ADVICE, MY FRIEND. THEN DONT INSTALL DISHES FOR A LIVING!! Are you nuts??? As I saw it, Charlie was basically saying that a carpenter should tell a builder... yes, I'll build your cabinets, alright, but I'll be damned if you think I'm actually inSTALLing them, lest I damage your walls!! MY GOD... can you imagine what the builder would say to such thinking? Oh... okay. I'll merely run out and hire a completely DIFFERENT person just to push the cabinets up against the wall since I soooo love racking up my payroll costs. Whatever.
So next dilema. Apparently the brand of television I bought didn't show up on the code screen, rendering Charlie (who is becoming more like Charles the Chimp by the minute) completely baffled as to how to figure out the code for programming the remote. At which point, he calls me over and tells me: SORRY, LADY. YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO USE THIS TV. THE REMOTE CODE ISN'T LISTED. As soon as I heard this out of his mouth, I determined ONCE AGAIN, he was an idiot. So... I told him: Call your office and FIND OUT THE DAMN CODE! Further,
I questioned him: Are you REALLY telling me that you think every tv known to man is listed on that screen?? You don't KNOW that there are a zillion OTHER codes for all tv's not listed onscreen?? As in: You don't know to CALL YOUR OFFICE AND ASK FOR ADDITIONAL CODES?? Even I know that you can locate the answer with a mere phone call. Christ. I was so losing it. In fact, it was at THIS point, I decided I had better down an Ativan, given I was beginning to want to STRANGLE THE CHIMP. Oh..by the way... I DID call his office... and get this. They gave us the code! Duh.
I won't bore you with the rest of the idiotic tales I could relate. It would take WAY to long. Suffice it to say, that Yeah, Mr. Monkey certainly was the one climbing on the rooftop to plant the dish. But I did all the resolving of issues in making sure the signal was cooperating with the operation of the tv set. Besides, just as things were getting REALLY hairy, YIPPEE! ZACHARY ARRIVED! I hugged him, kissed him, held him, and then boom! I said... Here, Zachary... you love zoos. YOU go talk to Charles! I've had ENOUGH of the idiot.
P.S. I'M NOW WATCHING HI DEF SATELLITE. Pretty much thanks to me, of course.
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