FEAST AND FROLIC

Last night I hosted a sit down dinner party for 13 friends. It was a surprise dinner in honor of one of the guests... the surprise being that her twin sister had flown into town. I sent out the invites weeks ago and for all that time, I'd been soooo excited, anticipating the exact moment of revelation.

I had my table set a couple days ahead of time. I marinated the beef tenderloin the day before. I went to the airport hours ahead of dinner to pick up the incoming twin. And about an hour before everyone's arrival, I put out the hor'derves, serving pieces, cocktails, etc., etc. Everything was in place. YIPPEE. It was going to be a great evening.

As it happened, truer words were never said. The dinner party was a major success, I must say. AND, DELICIOUS, I might add. Especially since every guest brought a contribution to the evening's meal. TALK ABOUT EASY ENTERTAINING! I am so telling you... enlisting the help of others is DEFINITELY the way to go. All in all, we had a FABulous time.

But... nothing was quite as fabulous as Mrs. X's contribution to the fun. Mrs. X is a friend of ours... stunning and filled with personality. She is also the oldest of us all. Thus, we have often thought that despite her protestations, she MUST have had her breasts done sometime in her life. I mean really... she looks just so damn great; NO one could have a body as beautiful as hers without SOME sort of help. Boy. Were WE ever wrong.

Turns out, we were all at the dining table, laughing, eating, and basically having a completely wonderful evening. The three bottles of champagne didn't hurt matters, either. I don't know precisely how it all came about, but at some point into our frolicking, someone said: EVERYONE HERE WHO THINKS MRS. X HAS HAD HER BREASTS DONE, RAISE YOUR HAND. Boom! 12 hands went up. OKAY. NOW, EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T THINK SHE'S HAD HER BREASTS DONE, RAISE YOUR HAND. Naturally, Mrs. X was the only defector. With that...

The next thing we all knew, up stood Mrs. X... immediately pulling up her sheath dress, over her head and undoes her bra!! And... OUT FALL THE MOST FABULOUS, UNTOUCHED BREASTS YOU EVER SAW!! Oh my God... I can not TELL you how much we all laughed! Nor can I tell you HOW WRONG WE ALL WERE!! Man, oh man... she looked unbelievable and it took all of us one second flat to realize, Mrs. X was right. ABSOLUTELY NO SURGERY WHATSOEVER! Talk about having God shine down upon you. I can't beLIEVE how amazing her body looked. Damnit.

All I can say is, Mrs. X was by FAR, the most hilarious guest of the evening. And...the best part of this is... NEXT weekend, about 10 of us are all going down to one of the twin's lake house for yet MORE fun, feast and frolic. Can you even IMAGINE what might happen in THOSE three days?? Geez... my best suggestion can only be: stay tuned for THAT update. God only knows what could happen when Grandma's Go Wild! Wow. I can't wait!