14 BILLION

That's about how many hangers I have. With clothes on every one of them, too, I might add. I'm apparently a self proclaimed felon because I swear to God, it's criminal that any one woman should have so many clothes. The problem however, is that I take such fabulous care of my clothes, there is NO way I could ever dispose of them. Their condition is WAY near perfect. Which is good news, bad news.

The good news is that I have a wardrobe that fits perfectly into my lifestyle. Even better, if I lived an additional 5 lives. The bad news is that I need to house all this accumulated fashion. Including every piece of lingerie known to woman; and every accessory, and every pair of shoes. My closets are BRIMMING with choices of what to wear. Not to mention in my basement, as well. I almost need to attend CLOSETS ANONYMOUS, I think. I just can't seem to part with clothing that is basically next to perfect. Which actually, is a good thing, considering I'm now two sizes down from last year, thus... I often run down to the basement and boom! I'm selecting all kinds of forgotten clothes in no time flat.

Regardless... I spent today going through all my closets. Not discarding, mind you, but rather, sorting. I keep all my clothes in color order. And, I keep them in sectioned order: dresses, pants, t-shirts, blouses, party clothes, etc. etc. Anyway, I needed to make room and/or declutter my three closets. And, I needed to rehang a lot of pieces... from the passe old hangers onto my new all time favorite kind... the velvet covered, much slimmer kind. Don't ask. I replaced 120 just today. Thus, there were discarded hangers ALL OVER the damn floor. Which is why I'm here, writing right now. I needed a break from this crazy ass, time consuming but much needed chore.

I'm hosting a dinner party next weekend for 12-14 folks. And the entire time I'm tossing all these now unused hangers in every imaginable direction, I kept thinking to myself that rather than setting out candies, or whatever, by each place setting, as a hostess gift, INSTEAD, I'm wrapping up 10 hangers per person, in pretty pink ribbons and GIVING THEM OUT AS FAVORS. How's THAT for a creative way to recycle! Besides, the hangers ARE all in perfect condition. Who'd ever know??

Adding to this problem is the free weekend getaway I'll be having in 2 weeks whereby yes, it's a cost free vacation, but ALSO... it's a pricey multi-million dollar one, too. Why, you ask?? Because IT'LL BE HOT there. Thus, as if I didn't already have enough in my closet, I NOW had to run out and buy a presentable and practical swimming/boating wardrobe. Jesus. This is insane. Especially because, for every new article of clothing I bought, get this... I needed new hangers! Bringing my count to now, 14 billion +16.