IF I WERE PRESIDENT

I'm getting major sick of hearing George W. address the Iraqi issue. He's like a blubbering broken record, using the same tired talking points over and over. Additionally, the points themselves are so damn lame, it's embarrassing. As if that's not enough, he's addressing the issues with the worst grammatical usage I've ever seen from ... uh... a supposed statesman. On THAT count, I could easily be President. Granted, being "major sick" is not at all grammatically correct. But on the other hand ... I've yet to be elected to the highest office in the land.

Case in point: Right now, as I write, President Bush is being interviewed by Brian Williams on MSNBC. In describing his personal reading choices, Bush claims his taste in reading is eceletic. WHAT? ECELETIC??? Since WHEN is eceletic a word?? The word is: ECLECTIC for God's sake! This sort of stupidity from the leader of the free world just freakin' kills me.

That's number 1. Number 2 is that if I were President, I'd oust Rumsfeld in a jiffy. He's not even worthy of comment. Suffice it to say, I find him leading us down a proven horrible path, with no sign of remarkable military success whatsoEVER. End of disscussion.

Next, I'd tell Iraq... okee dokee folks; we got rid of your dictator. You're welcome. Since the take down, we've tried the best damn way we (the greatest military force on earth) knew how, to bring you an opportunity to develop your own government and repair your war damage. In fact, we've spent, what?? four years??, fighting all the obstacles your countymen have placed before us. Thanks a lot for all those obstacles, by the way. And, thanks too, for all those religious nut jobs killing us while we try to get you up and running once again. Whatever. Game's over. You win.

Therefore, as President, my message would be along the lines of: Uh... Guess what, Iraq. We are FINISHED. Good-bye. Nice knowing you. Our here work is done. Kaput. Over. No more. As of this moment, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN, kiddies. Do whatever the hell you want in your land and by the way ... rots 'o ruck doing it. Shoot up every religious sect you f-ing want and let any fanatical idiot you choose, be your leader. At this point, I could care less what you guys do. Oh, and by the way... you might want to rethink your message from Allah. You're telling me your God insists that you kill every human being on earth who is not as fanatically, radically violent as you?? Pullllease.

Whew. I feel better, now that I spewed. Thanks for indulging me. Thanks too, for allowing me any/all grammatically incorrect sentence structures as well as any/all creative vocabulary. I'd make a great President.