THE BIG HOUSE

Any day now, I could be whisked away from my modest little house, to instead, a government-funded Big House. The kind where black and white stripes are in fashion. Will it actually happen? I doubt it, but just in case... I figured I'd give everyone a heads up.

I've previously mentioned how absolutely thrilled I am with my new DSL line. It' simply the best thing EVER. And while most people my age use their computer for email, travel planning, paying bills etc., I have always used my computer for far more. I use detailed imaging software to maintain my family/digitals photos. I record all my check book transactions to give annual financial reports to my accountant. I save/scan all my important documents, develop web pages and/or blog entries, and I've perfected all sorts of desktop publishing programs. I seach the internet for possible physician malpractice suits against my doctors (why take chances?) and download zillions of free computer applications, including about 200 additional fonts. Apparently, the first 100 aren't enough.

But the BEST thing I do now, is download music files which is ... ahem ... let's just say... not the way you're SUPPOSED to get your music. You're supposed to PAY for it, so that artists get their royalties, etc. But according to anyone under the age of 35, screw the $$$ and instead, risk jail time.

Before I got fast access, I didn't even consider downloading songs... it took WAY too long. Now however, I swear, in two minutes or less, you can have absolutely ANY song known to mankind. It's a sheer miracle. I'm just wild about it. Case in point: I've now got Frank Sinatra singing ISLE OF CAPRI, Elton John and George Michael singing in unison DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME, as well as Bobby Darin belting out BEYOND THE SEA and I'M BEGINNING TO SEE THE LIGHT. I just can't beLIEVE how fabulous it is to burn all the songs you've ever loved, onto a single CD! It definitely blows my mind. Naturally, I had to also download freeware so I could convert the .mp3 files to .wav's, but that was simple enough. I guess most people are using the .mp3's to load their iPods. Me, I'm just making CDs with which to sing along in the car. If you've never done this, I highly recommend it.

However... don't get floored when you see what the song titles of the 21st century are like. IT'S CRAZY. I'm telling you, the music our children and grandchildren are hearing are WAY TOO obscene. PRET-ty scarey, if you ask me. Like, since when is it okay to record a song entitled (and this a tame one) I WANNA GET IN YOUR PANTS??? Are you KIDDING me?? Don't ask.

See? That's what's nuts. The Feds don't give a HOOT about the major trashy recordings being heard by kids today. But, find an old lady like me who's downloading Sting's EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE and boom! I'm on the FBI list and therefore, reason to possibly be carted off to jail. In which case, please send cigs.