LIFE'S DISAPPOINTMENTS

I love the feeling of happy anticipation. The kind of anticipation when something about to occur is going to rock your world forever. The very first weekend getaway with the love of your life, maybe. Or the birth of your first baby. Or, my personal favorite... when a gent who knocks your socks off, is about to lean in and give you his very first kiss. You nervously anticipate the kiss that's going to bring you to your knees, and boom!... take you to heaven. Okay... so the sweet anticipation grows even more, as his mouth finally approaches yours and then WHAM! He kisses you and sure enough it's like... uh... oh NOOO! Your world isn't rocking at ALL. Instead, it's major CRUMBLING! As in: loverboy turns out to have COMPLETELY flunked The A B C's of Kissing Basics, thus in a flash of a moment, he becomes one of your all time major disappointments in life.

Such is how I felt the night that the apple of my eye, MSNBC's Tucker Carlson, showcased his dancing ability on DANCING WITH THE STARS. After watching Tucker for years, I was thrilled to be able to see a different side of him... his sexier side. My expectations were sky high. Afterall, Tucker's a guy who's bright, tall, funny, way easy on the eyes, and one whom I imagined had the perfect moves to definitely make me smile. All of which, to me, is a fabulously bundled foundation for everything sexy. I just KNEW I was going to love watching him on the dance floor, holding my breath with visual pleasure. Jesus. How wrong I was.

Talk about stiff! And, not where I'd like it, either. I'm talking about stiff body moves, no real rhythm, lead-heavy steps, etc. etc.; thus for sure... blowing all my pent up anticipation in a mere nano second. HUH?? TUCKER NEVER MADE IT OUT OF DANCE 101?? WHAT?? JERRY SPRINGER IS HOTTER THAN TUCK?? Say it ain't so! Lordy, lordy, lordy. Now THERE'S a disappointment, if ever I've seen one.

Which just goes to show, you simply never know. Besides, if you ask me, Jerry Springer looked damn good in his tux. If he promises not to throw chairs at me, I'd dance with him in a heartbeat.