FAMILY TIES

Yesterday my niece, Laura arrived from Florida. She wanted to come see Grandpa, who naturally is my Dad. Normally, I guess I'd be telling you about our visit, our time together, even our feelings about Gramps.

Instead, I'm going to tell you about her job. Actually about her two jobs. One is a very interesting enterprise. Laura works for let's say, Tracey. I can't remember her real name. Tracey has this successful company whereby, in a nutshell, she places new opthamologists in existing practices. I think basically, that's what the deal is. You graduate, now you need to work somewhere. Bingo. Laura is kinda the Match.com of eye doctors. And, she really likes her job. It's convenient, it has bonuses, it gives her great hours, etc. etc.

Yet after knowing Laura for all my life, and being way close to her, last night was the first night that I ever learned of her OTHER job. Now THIS is a job I'd love to have. Get this... she gets paid FOR STAYING AWAY. Handsomely, I might add, considering perks like insurance, etc. are thrown in. How did she LAND such a job? Easy. She's the oldest of my late brother's children. The two youngest took over Bob's company after he passed away.

It's a wonderful construction/management company that my brother began many, many years ago. Once he passed away, my nephews stepped right up to the plate and not only took over the company, but probably furthered its success and/or it's worth, too. It was through very tough times and very hard work that the boys brought the business where it is today.

Anyway, as in many family businesses, the children often get some sort of financial benefits... but NO one tops Laura's benefits. Get this... my nephews, actually PAY her to stay out of the office! NO, YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY WORK HERE. IN FACT, WE'RE PAYING YOU TO NOT WORK! STAY AWAY! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW UP! Can you imAGINE?? Why the hell can't I land a job like this?? This would be SO up my alley!! I'm telling you... Laura definitely has the ultimate job of a lifetime!

Not that she doesn't deserve it, mind you. Laura has a great husband, three children, three step children, 4 house pets, the eye doctor job and, and the responsibilities of running a home. Not to mention, the cooking, the cleaning, the carpooling, etc. So, trust me, she works HARD. But when I was listening to the job description for the construction company, I couldn't HELP but laugh right out loud. With tremendous jealousy, I might add, too. You should have HEARD me as I asked her to run the details by me again. The details got better and better, believe me. Yet, they all boiled down to the same bottom line: WE'LL PAY YOU NOT TO SHOW UP. What an F-ing great deal!

So... I'm now off to search Monster.com. I just PRAY I see such a listing as the job offer and/or position Laura has landed. If so, you can be SURE I'm sending in my resume!! Hell, with positions like this, I'll hold down 5 jobs, happily. WNTD: EDUCATED, EXPERIENCED EMPLOYEE WHO PROMISES TO NEVER SHOW UP. GREAT BENEFITS. Bingo. That's me!!