Whenever I complain about the heat, Barbara always reminds me: DON'T COMPLAIN. It's a kinda cue she gives me, reminding me that if I REALLY want to bitch, just remember from whence I came. As in: Miami. She's right. I used to live in temperature hell.
For over five decades, I lived in a place where heat, humidity and possible hurricanes were the watch word of the city. Air conditioning was never even an option. You HAD to run it 24/7 no matter WHAT time of the year it was. Winter was nothing but a freakin' fallacy. Which is why, now that I'm in the stunning Smoky Mountains, I'm not allowed to complain. Ever.
Which is sort of a problem now, given summer is here and I am SO telling you... IT'S F-ING HOT! HOTTER THAN EVER. Almost a perfect match for Miami. What the hell is going ON?? I just now checked out the upcoming temps for this week and every day showed expected highs in the NINETIES!! WHAT??? Here?? In the cool, breezy, delightful western North Carolina mountains?? Ninety?? Ninety +?? Oh my God... I am sooooo not leaving my house. Thank GOD I stocked up on all those Wife Beater shirts I recently wrote about.
Barbara tells me I'm not allowed to complain... basically because in just six short weeks, guess what? IT'LL ALL BE OVER. Which is the real beauty of this place. Suffer from summer's heat if I must, but remember: in the end, before I know it, autumn will be here and bingo. STUNNING OUTDOOR TEMPS ONCE AGAIN. Which is never the way it was in Miami. Here, at least you know the end is in sight. And, it's that insight alone that gets me through this crazy heat.
I remember that for YEARS I'd come up here to visit my mother and each and every year I'd tell her JEEZ... WHAT'S WITH THIS HEAT?? She in turn would always reply: OH YEAH... THIS YEAR, WE'RE HAVING UNSEASONABLE HOT TEMPS. It took about three years of hearing this before I informed her: MOM... NEWS FLASH: Your UNseasonably has turned into real, live SEASONably by now. Feel free to kiss your concept of a cool summer goodbye. It ain't happening anymore.
Well, at least not in August. For, to be honest, even up to and including July, the summer heat was basically very do-able. It's only since August came around that this heat has gotten so way outta control. But... I'm not allowed to complain. So, I won't. I WILL tell you, however, this is far worse than I ever expected. Hence, why the ONLY thing I ever miss about Miami is my daily hop into the pool. That hop was my only saving grace to living in such an unbearable climate. And while the good news is that summer is pretty much short lived here, the bad news is that in mere months, the temps will THEN be way low. As in: FREEZING TO DEATH.
Which I guess is why I had better be real careful about complaining. Because as my Mother ALSO said, you want something to complain about? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. How about 20 degree lows? Hmmmm... she definitely had a point.
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