BONNY PRINCE CHARLIE

Supposedly, when my sister was a very little girl, our housekeeper Ada, used to tell my mother that Claudia was going to grow up and marry the other big name baby of the times... Prince Charles. So much for Ada's predictions; turns out Claudia married Barry while Charles married Diana. So I find it ironic that in late August of each year, when Claudia celebrates her wedding anniversary, Charles commerates Diana's death.

As it happens, I'm a sort of pseudo expert on the British Monarchy, dating from Queen Victoria to Queen Elizabeth II. Therefore, I'm pretty much hooked into a LOT of behind the scenes biographical info on each of the monarchy big shots, beginning in 1850. So hooked in fact, that once I even taught a class at the local Junior College about them. I was way too young in 1953 to watch the first ever televised British world wide event of the crowning of the present Queen. But I was WAY prepared for the next one... the marriage of Charles and Diana. In fact, thanks to them I bought my first VCR. I didn't want to miss a single second of broadcasting and to this day, I have all my monarchy tapes safely stored in case I ever have a great-granddaughter. She'll easily be able to get an A+ for including in her report a fabulous historical video. Of course it will be of no use by then, since everthing will be on DVD only, rendering VHS obsolete. But, whatever.

In the meantime, on the Diana vs. Charles deal, I definitely come down on the side of Diana. Charles is, simply put, a major schmuck. He had a remarkable opportunity to take this smitten, stunning, willing and most importantly, virginal young lady and offer to her security, devotion, love, commitment and adoration. Diana was clearly putty in his hands; his wish was her command.

Unfortunately, his wish was: to keep shagging Camilla. Thereby infusing Diana with insecurity, marital misery, complete mistrust and emotional instablility. How DARE Charles do this!! Off with his head!! (yeah, and that one, too!) His chosen Princess walked down the aisle with such promise and beauty and boom! The next thing you know, the Prince is still carrying on with (spare me) ... Camilla. Possibly the most unattractive woman I've ever seen. Is he NUTS?? BLIND? A TOTAL schmuck?? Apparently, yes. Okay... so Charles deeply loved Camilla. I get it. Then, why not this thought? UH... DON'T MARRY DIANA. That's a toughie to figure out?? Apparently, yes. Well, I too have a wish. I wish Diana posthumously takes revenge. I wish also (God forgive me) that Diana is able to take it in a really potent way; one that will absolutely floor, forever affect and viciously attack Charles and Camilla. This wish is a possiblity? Apparently no. On the other hand... I've got a really deep seeded revenge problem? Apparently yes.