DEPRESSION

And no, I don't mean the current economic woes of the United State. Instead, I'm talking the kind that hits you right smack in the gut and puts you on the verge of tears as soon as you hear some stupid ass background song in a meaningless TV commercial or something.

Like since when is TV allowed to show everyone happily Xmas shopping in Target or somewhere and then boom. Reduce me to ruining my mascara all because a song brings back such sweet memories of a lost love??? Talk about being heartless. During the Holiday Season, no less! Anyway, being sad is very unusual for me. Let alone feeling blue. But today, I guess I'm just not working with a full deck.

On the other hand, I am DEFinitely working with a full stomach.

As in: sick to my stomach. Well... no wonder, now that I think about it. I've kinda been eating everything in sight the entire day. Like a bottomless pit, I'd have to say. What?? There's a better way to chase away my blues??? I don't know... this particular method has sorta been working just fine for the moment.

I've actually been around the block a time or two, so I'm pretty hip to all the possible cures when one is doing an emotional balancing act. Let's see... I could certainly do meds. That's always a bonus. Or I could do dope. A definite contender. I could even do wine but I'd rather drink champagne. Yet in spite of all these possibilities, it turns out I opted for the ole' tried and true method: FOOD! Yep.... l was forced to do what ANY red blooded hot shit woman would do in such a crisis... EAT. On the hour, every hour. In fact, eating as much as one could possibly sock away in about a 6 hour timeline. I actually accomplished this feat pretty well too, I might add.

I stared out with two Oreos. Then I decided to counteract the nutritional value by roasting an entire butternut squash, which I downed in mere minutes. Then somewhere down the line I had half a Dairy Queen Dilly Bar. And that was all before the dinner hour. Then, as if that wasn't enough, for a late hour evening meal, I ate an entire container of macaroni and cheese! OMG... I am sooo stuffed now you can't even imagine. It's a good thing I'm not having sex tonight. I'd SO have to play the passive lover role. I'd probably have to fake it, too.

Anyway, by tomorrow morning my stomach, thank God, will feel pretty much back in normal working order. Which means I can then go one of two ways. Either keep up the eating binge, which I won't. Or, simply order myself a side of fries when I hook up with my girlfriend for lunch tomorrow. Yeah, that's the ticket. I'll do the fries. AND... I'll stay away from TV commercials that have remarkable musical memories. I only have two words for all those fantastic songs that I will love forever: BAH HUMBUG.