ANTZ

I never saw the movie, but I can almost assure you... no matter how many ants were in it, I have far surpassed them in the amount that's in my kitchen. It's crazy.

About a month ago, I began noticing baby sugar ants. Next thing I know, there are about 15 billion relatives joining them. All, interested in munching on ANYthing thing that was sitting upon my counter top. I have never SEEN so many. And, I've never been so freaked. As it happens, I leave food out alllll the time. Ex: a large chocolate chip cookie can last me all day long. I break off a piece, pop it into my mouth, leave the rest on the counter, and bingo. I have a snack out at all times, ready for the NEXT bite I'll be taking.

Well, I'm sorry to say... it's not actually working out that way any longer. NOW... I'm into heavy protection of every morsel of food that is either intentionally or accidentally left out on the kitchen counter. It's like me against the ants and believe you me, I'm sorry to say... the ants are winning.

Enter: TERMINEX. I had a coupon, got a recommendation from a friend, called the company, asked for Mr. Jeff, and boom. He was out the next day. YIPPEE. The battle had begun. Well, the battle of the insects, that is. I wasn't too sure about the battle of the sexes... I began to kinda sense that Mr. Jeff was a little to chummy for a first visit yesterday, and hmmm... didn't know exactly what to think. Thus, I REALLY went into battle mode, creating all sorts of stories, to be sure that HE was sure, I had something along the lines of a nine foot sumo wrestler living with me. Hence... he was protecting my home. I was protecting myself. Of course, why any 40 year old would possibly want to get chummy with an old 60 year old lady like me, is beyond my comprehension, but, so be it. Besides, maybe it was all my imagination. Uh... I hope, anyway.

What isn't my imagination however, is the ANTS. They're WELL on their way out of here, by now. Thank God. FINALLY, I'll be able to have all kinds of food, lining every inch of kitchen space, if I wanted, and will be able to know... it'll finally be ant free! I won't be sharing my goodies with anything crawling around on all fours, any longer. Or on all tens. Or however many legs insects have. Who the hell knows. All that matters, is there will be PLENTY of ant free foods in my kitchen, now. Yippee. Am winning the ant war, afterall.