MYSTERY HANDS

See that hand there? It's mine. And, my nails, too. Actually, it's what my nails are SUPPOSED to look like. SO not what I'm sporting nowadays. It's blowing my mind, too.

For 26 years, I've been doing my own nails. I gave my up standing manicure appointments the day my son was born. Instead, I began doing my OWN manicure, right in the comfy confines of my own home, wearing a comfy nightgown and sitting upon my comfy couch. And, ever since then, you could pretty much count on my hands looking much like they do in that picture. Except, some weeks the nails are red, some weeks mauve, some weeks maybe even a pale copper shade.

BUT NOW?? Oh my lord... for the first time in YEARS, I have no length whatsoever to my nails. In fact, my hands don't even LOOK like they belong to me. I am plenty freaked, too. In fact, right now, when I type, my FINGERS are actually pressing the keys. Not my nails, like they usually do. No wonder... there ARE no nails to do the pressing. Damnit.

I can't figure out what's going on, either. I only know that they keep splitting and becoming shorter and shorter. Actually, my left hand is looking much better than my right, but still, wearing all my favorite rings now requires mighty careful selection since I usually choose my rings according to my nail length. Case in point: wearing my favorite really LARGE, glitzy rings so don't look so hotsi totsi when adorning short stubby finger nails. Hence lately, I'm pretty much wearing rings that you'd find on any happening 9 year old. Geez.

Maybe it's the way I'm filing? The bottom coat I'm using? The heavy duty manual labor I'm doing in my garage? Boy, I wished I knew the cause. What I DO know however, is that tonight is manicure night. I am PRAYING that they'll begin to grow again. I'm getting mighty tired of these little girl rings I'm forced to wear and oh, so miss, my glitzy grownup ones. Besides, with nails this short, I can't even CHOOSE which color polish to use. The short length definitely mandates it's got to be something like: BARELY THERE. Which pretty much describes not only the color of the polish, but the length of the nails, too.