PRESENTLY EMPLOYED

I've apparently taken on a new job. Not one I'm particularly thrilled about either, but one which is pretty much necessary. For home beautification and/or home protection. My new job?? Get this... DOG PATROL. Mainly, targeting dogs who use my lawn as their bathroom. I HATE THAT.

I don't get it. First of all, the owners are supposed to walk their dogs on a leash. Secondly, when doing so, they are supposed to pick up the unsightly remains their darling little pets leave behind. And thirdly, DOGS SHOULDN'T BE MAKING ON MY LAWN in the first place! Especially since I'm on the corner lot. Thus, right smack NEXT to my property is a huge forest of the finest looking dog bathroom facilities one could ever ask for. So, WHY USE MINE??

Geez... this just irks me. Trust me... I've spotted many a violator of this rule, and more than just once, I might add. I am basically able to be diligently on Dog Patrol round the clock because, I'm at my computer often. And... the computer is staring right smack out my front lawn window; thus giving me the ability to scout pretty much 24/7, exactly what's going on in my neighborhood. Actually, I kinda love this front and center positioning. I know which people walk when, with whom and more importantly, who owns which dogs. Except for just now.

I have to admit, just moments ago, I happened to see a brand new looking pooch in the neighborhood... a small white almost terrier type. He was strutting the streets without anyone accompanying him, thus I have no idea to whom he belongs. Of course, just when he was approaching my lawn, I began my fierce gaze just WAITING for him to crouch down to begin his squatting position. I stared and stared and sure enough... BOOM! The dog squatted. It took me but an INstant before I yelled out the window, NO!! NO!! I must have scared the holy hell out of him because... wow... did THAT puppy scurry! That's the good news. The bad news is, I saw him fly right on over to the house next to me to use THEIR facilities! Good doggie.

Of course, now... I'm wondering if the little pet made it home alright, given I have no clue where he lives. Or, maybe he merely belongs to the people who just pulled up to the house across the street, that's currently for sale. Given my new job, I was also watching, as they and the realtor entered the house, to apparently give it a once over. Which makes me think: Gee... maybe I'll get new neighbors. Maybe even ones who own a white little dog. A little white dog who, soon enough, will probably learn to hate the new Dog Patrol.