GOING GREEN

Boy, I can't even iMAGine the last time I added an entry to this blog. It seems like months! But wow, have I been a busy little beaver, with all sorts of things going on around here. Then again, I'm basically losing my mind on many days, given all glitches I have had to contend with. Therefore, who's had time? Case in point: mastering my new cell phone, becoming a pet owner for a week with my Dad's dog, breaking half a tooth right smack in the middle of my melted cheese sandwich, encountering big hard drive problems, figuring out what to do about my oil leaking car and most importantly, should I or should not have any plastic surgery. Any one of those topics could be a contender for a major diatribe, but the one I think I'll focus on is: Anthony.

I hate him. He's the guy who planted the 40 trees in my backyard. Of course, he did it in the thick of winter which therefore gave me big problems in going out to water them in 18 degree weather with wind gusts up to 35 mph. Don't ask. Actually, I even ASKED him if this was a good time of year to plant and naturally, he replied... Hey, no problem! Sure... for HIM there was no problem. He cashed his hefty check and bingo. He was happy as a lark. I, on the other hand, had to stare as tree after tree succumbed to the effects of winter's wonderland. Okay... so finally, when I saw it was becoming a lost cause, I bit the bullet and called Anthony to say: HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. The greening of my yard is fast going brown.

So, we discussed the trees, etc. etc. and basically I was at his mercy. Meaning... Okay, he'd replace the 14 troubled trees at only half the original cost. HUH?? I have to pay AGAIN?? F.Y. Anthony. Which now that I think about it, is SOOOO far from anything I'd ever consider doing! Anyway, as I said... I was at his mercy. Actually, I even developed a scheme several weeks ago, when my former husband was here. I told Mr. X to please go outside and tell Anthony you just got back from some major federal governmental investigation, hence this is the first time you seen his work and basically, you're not thrilled with the tree troubles. Obviously, I was hoping this would put a new step into Anthony's walk, hoping he'd reconsider my cost solution. Uh... scheme failed.

Okay... so fast forward a month and boom. The trees were replaced. Which is the good news. The bad news is that I am now spending every other day, WATERING ALL THESE DAMN TREES and let me tell you... it's exhausting!! I hate this job as much as I hate Anthony. Have any idea how LONG it takes to accomplish this friggin' mission? Have any idea how LONG my hose is, to reach all the trees? It's crazy! You can be sure that the entire time I'm doing it, I'm cursing Anthony up the kazoo.

Which is why, this summer I PRAY to no end that God will take over and do the watering for me. As in: RAIN BUCKETS EVERY DAMN DAY! Trust me... you have no clue how thrilled I will be to enjoy some divine intervention.