CRAZED WOMAN

I now see why they identify Taurus as THE BULL. I am indeed a Taurus, usually someone who is calm, tolerant, supportive, understanding and way flexible. Yet, push just the right button and boom. I'm apparently, also a MAjor bull. And, to prove it, I WAS WILD WITH FURY this morning. And, even that, is probably understating it some. I can't beGIN to tell you what a cursing lunatic I was, all because I was simply horrified, livid AND incredulous. I couldn't beLIEVE what BellSouth was telling me!

It went down like this: I had a LONG list of everyone to call today, regarding my new home. The electric company, the satellite company, the insurance company, the phone company, the gas company, etc. etc. The list went on and on. I spoke with all of the above, but had yet to contact the last five companies on my list. Seriously... HOW COULD I?? I was WAY too out of my mind! Which leads to the question: Okay. I give. What the hell happened, Linda??

Okay... so there I was, psyched and determined to get all this phone crap taken care of, basically wasting a lot of practical work time, contacting whomever needed contacting. I took care of alot of the phone calls, and all was going down pretty well, actually. Uh... until I got to BellSouth, that is.

No problem... they could easily transfer my service and I could even keep my same phone numbers. So, moving right along, we then addressed my DSL Fast Access account. It was at that point that I turned into an ugly bull, ready to charge, all fired up... almost like a raving LUNatic, I might add. Get this... the hotsy totsy neighborhood to which I'm moving?? IT DOESN'T HAVE DSL LINES!! WHAT????? NO BELLSOUTH FAST ACCESS?? ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME??? THAT'S LIKE TELLING ME THE SUBDIVISION HAS NO PLUMBING, FOR GOD SAKES!! I have to do DIAL UP?? There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY this could be POSSIBLE!!

Uh... guess again. I was horrified. I was also aghast, speechless, shocked and rattled, all rolled into one. Most of all, I was angry!! Enter:THE BULL. That DLS lines are not already in place for my new address is simply unHEARD of!!

Wow. Am I EVER glad you didn't see me during these A.M. discussions. I just couldn't believe it. WHAT THE F WAS I GOING TO DO, NOW??? Freak out, that's what! Bitch and complain, too. And, speak to every supervisor the company employs. Man, I was on fire. I would have been so embarrassed should anyone have had seen/heard me. You'd have thought the entire world had turned upside down. Well, actually, MY world, anyway. My online world, for sure! What the hell is wrong with BellSouth, anyway?? Okay.Okay. So no one died and everyone I love is happy and in good health. My house didn't burn to the ground... nor did anything dramatically tragic occur.

But STILL!! Jesus... want to guess how long it took me to calm down?? Think: HOURS!! I am so telling you... I'm almost SURE this dilema took DAYS off my length of lifetime possibilities. Forget the fact that smoking could take off years. This lack of DSL bit is having WAY more negative effect on my life extention, if you ask me. Well, sort of. Anyway, it seems that I'll have to go another route for fast internet service, given BellSouth has no CLUE when they'll ever get around to setting up any sort of speedy service. S#%^. This is craaaaazy.

So.. solution?? God only knows. My next call has GOT to be to the satellite company, so maybe, THEY can beam me down some acceptable access. If not... it was absolutely wonderful knowing you... given I'll definitely toy with shooting myself some time soon. Or, at the very least, buying a flashy red cape for my entry into some crazy ass bull ring.