A GREAT MIRACLE HAPPENED THERE

During Chanukah, children play with their toy Dreidels, whose letters mean:A Great Miracle Happened There. Well, guess what? TWO miracles happened right here this morning, both of which took me by astounding surprise. The first one... and the most important, happened while I was standing in my computer room, on the phone with Claudia, catching a glance of myself in the full length mirror. Shocked, and completely disregarding whatever Claudia was saying, I turned to Pat, who was in the midst of cleaning my bookshelf and said in a voice of utter amazement...

OH MY GOD. LOOK, PAT! I ALMOST LOOK NORMAL SIZE!

I couldn't believe it. In the mirror, was the reflection of... I swear to God... a person who actually looked like a normal misses' sized woman! WHAT A F-ing miracle!! ME?? SHOP IN THE MISSY DEPTARTMENT?? Just can't BE! Jesus... if only I weren't expecting someone to stop by in a little while, I'd run right outta here and buy a multi million dollar wardrobe, all in a size 12. Well, okay... 14. Still... either my mirror is totally playing a mean joke on me or I'VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN.

As if that's not enough, get this... ANOTHER miracle also happened today. It began the other night when I had lit a candle on the mantle above the fireplace. The candle is held in a holder about a 30 inches tall. Thus, a LOT of care needs to be taken when raising/lowering melting candles. Uh... unfortunately I didn't take ENOUGH care. Next thing I know ALL THE HOT WAX CAME STREAMING DOWN THE ENTIRE FRONT OF MY FAVORITE BLACK KNIT SHIRT. I held my panic mode to a minimum, but still, I could tell this wasn't a good thing. The heat was no problem, but the hardened yellow wax covering my shirt was FAR from an added touch to the preceding stylin' look. Enter: dilemma. What to do next?? I could go on and on about the details of my deciding what I should do to save this adored garment, but suffice it to say, the shirt wound up in my freezer. I did in fact make some mild progress in peeling away the frozen wax, but in no time, I could see I was getting no where fast. IDEA FLASH: I went to the internet; Googled REMOVE WAX FROM CLOTHING.

Boom. In a mere instant, I had my solution! HINTS FROM LINDA: Get a hot iron. Place a paper towel atop the waxed area. Iron. BINGO. WAX IS LIFTED FROM CLOTHING. It was a sheer miracle, definitely bordering on astounding! See?? Being hot and heated is not JUST about looking foxy... apparently it's also about being miraculous!