HEART FAILURE

In a few minutes I'm headed out to the cardiologist to see if I might die anytime in the near future. As it happens, I don't think so. At least I hope not, anyway. About a month ago, I called the doctor's office to tell them I was having like 24/7 heart palpitations. NO WORRIES... COME ON IN, AND WE'LL HOOK YOU UP WITH A HEART MONITOR. For uh... 25 days, by the way. Don't ask. Oh yeah... I decided to do it for only 19 days, in case you're interested. I figured if they couldn't get the info by then, then I better go find a new doctor and start from square one. In the meantime, today I guess I'll find out the results from the monitoring deal. It's really neat the way they have you do this. You wear the monitor, all day, all night. Then, whenever you feel something amiss with your heartbeat, you call this 800 number and then send them the heart recording via phone. Crazy ass little static sounds come from your phone into theirs and boom. They hear your heart! I guess that if they think you'll kick off any moment, they'll call your doctor and give him/her the good news. Anyway, during one of these uploading sessions, I asked the lady... OH, BY THE WAY. AM I GOING TO DIE? I sorta wanted to know what sort of readings they were getting. Naturally, they're not allowed to give ME the info, but somehow I did find out that I apparently have an EARLY HEARTBEAT. EEEKS. Since I myself am not into finding out disturbing news about my imminent death, I had my son log onto the net so HE could find out. Looks as if it's not all that serious of a problem. Apparently LOTS of people have this deal and they live happily and normally for ever. YIPPPEE. Just the sort of news I like getting. Of course, that's my SON's diagnosis. When I get to my appointment, it may be a whole different story altogether. While ordinarily I like to follow the suggestions from the LINDA SCHOOL OF MEDICINE, I decided cardiology is not my specialty. Saving yourself from a bleeding foot while giving yourself a pedicure is much more my style. Determining the need for quadruple by-pass is not. So... for all I know, this could be the last entry for a long time yet to come. GOD FORBID. Trust me... if the doctor tells me I need heart surgery or something... I won't. Mainly because, I'll simply have a massive heart attack right smack there on the spot. Probably doing me in. Thus, saving me zillions of dollars for the supposed surgery. Which is good... since there is NO WAY I'll be able to handle such news. For SURE I'll begin palpitating like no tomorrow. Uh... if there is one.