IN AND OUT

In a little while I'll be headed to the Country Club for a fabulous brunch. I chose an appropriate outfit to wear... casual, but nice. A notch above an outfit I might wear to the movies, let's say. As it happens, casual is my watchword when it comes to dress. For instance, I would never wear a fitted waistband. Elastic was MADE for my taste, without a doubt. Not to mention, for my comfort. Which is sort of important, given I often go into a dining establishment being one size, but then, come out from the exact same place, an absolutely different size. A size UP, I might add. It's crazy... I literally grow within a mere hour and a half of dining. Thus, my adoration of elastic.

I love the days when I get dressed, look in the mirror, and think: Well, what do you know... today I look almost normal! Yup! The chubbiness seems to be pretty much under control! In fact, after looking in the mirror, I may even reconsider, and therefore change into one of my "thin" outfits. Days like this make me feel really spiffy since 1.) they are far and few between and 2.) I get to see a real pay off, considering I've made a major life project out of trying to camouflage my figure. It's a full time job, trust me. In fact, I always get a kick out of people who may see me somewhere and tell me: My, you look GREAT today! To which I often repy: Thanks. Mission Accomplished! Apparently I'm fooling SOMEone out there by my having chosen clothing to best hide my body faults. Actually, I've often said my sister has my mother's figure while I ... lucky me ... have my father's physique. Go figure.

Another thing I'd never do is tuck my shirt into my waitsband. I'd look way too much like the little dancing elephant, twirling all around, wearing a tu-tu. I can't even IMAGINE what it would be like to sport a belt. That is definitely not an accessory that would enhance my figure. Rather, I am diligent in selecting loose fitting tops that work double time in concealing my body shape. I'm so telling you... dressing my body gives a whole new meaning to hidden agendas. You think it's EASY creating a wardrobe for myself? Dont' ask.

Which brings me right back to the "I don't have a going problem. I've got a GROWING problem". I'll walk into the brunch today looking pretty much stylin'. However, what size I'll be when I walk out, heaven only knows. Besides, it's a buffet... so you do the math. Oh... and by the way, I've got a going problem, too. But that's a whole other story.