BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL

I have to admit... high school was a pretty good time for me. I had lots of friends, belonged to a sorority, fell in love for the first time, had my own private phone line, always had access to a car, attended plenty of parties and oh yeah... made pretty decent grades, if I say so myself. Well... other than Earth Science, that is.

Man, THAT was some crazy ass semester they offered up there. Velocity? Fulcrums? Inertia?? WTF does any of that have to do with makeup, shoes, hair products, clothing, making out or shopping?? Besides, it was taught by some geezer that I affectionately had to rename: Loose Balls Messler. Uh... he was old... he was a definite geek... he wore old men beige slacks... so you do the math as to how I came up with the title. Talk about a guy just begging for a rename. And... I had to stare at this guy and his package for an hour a day. Man... so not a sight a high school coed wants to see.

Yeah... so in the meantime guess who had the last laugh? Apparently he did... I barely walked away with a D in the f-ing class. But trust me... in spite of the grade, I not only walked away... I RAN. And, with JOY, no less. Right into Chemistry,  where I migh add... I had an A average. SO THERE... Mr. L.B.M.

Anyway, check out the picture up there. Okay... not such a perfect shot but WHOA... TALK ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN. Well, minus the blonde hair I now sport. Back then, I was major brunette, no gray roots and was doing the rollers bit every night so I could look spiffy has hell for the next school day. Have any clue how long its been since I wore a nice long flip like this??? One which I worked hard to not only attain but to also MAINtain?? Geez... teasing, spray, styling lotion and God only knows what else. But today?? Whole different story!!

Apparently today, all you need is a TV, a QVC channel, a fake hair product and bingo. You're back in high school all over again! For mere dollars you've got thick locks to match your present day hair color and whammo. You're ready to sit by the phone and wait for some guy from your favorite fraternity to give you a call. Let alone, ask you out. Although, I was way too much in love with Rick in those days to even consider such a thought. Regardless...

I saw this fake hair deal and knew INSTANTLY I needed this play toy. I called up, ordered it, waited for the back orders to become available and yippee. Three days ago, I became a coed once again. Okay... a coed with a wrinkling neck, sagging breasts and crapola thighs... but who's counting. I am so telling you... you have GOT to get one of these. BTW... add the fake bangs I also bought and for SURE you're in business. I even made a video to send to my three college suitemates, showing them exactly how this deal works. EASY! COMFY! AMAZING!

Oh yeah... given Rick was the only one who actually KNEW me in high school, I sent him a copy of the video, too. Which was good, considering he gave me a kind of thumbs up. Now... only one thing left to do... I SO have to make immediate plans for our high school reunion! EEKS. 44 years ago.