BECOMING SOCIAL

Oh man... I so can't believe this. It happened last week. Sitting down?? I applied for Social Security benefits!!! EEEEEEEKS. Therefore, in case any one should be in doubt, there can now be no question whatsoever... I'M OLD. Whoa. Not elderly... but old, for sure. Oh yeah... and in case anyone wonders what old and/or Social Security applicants look like... there it is. In that picture you see of me.

Of course, with all the crap going on in Washington, I have no clue just how LONG Social Security will be doling out this pittance of a payment to me, but I'm so keeping my fingers crossed. I can't figure out what I can actually pay with the baby amount of money I'm getting, but at the very least, I can either pay for electricity, cable and cell phone OR I can pay my monthly dues at the Country Club. Hmmm... there's a trade off if ever there was. And... get this. The representative from the Social Security office... GUESS WHAT HIS NAME WAS. Jerry Mathers!!! OMG... The Beaver is handling my case?? Which actually is kinda funny given The Beave was eligible for his own benefits JUST THIS MONTH.

I was talking to a friend the other day, questioning the possibility of whether or not our combined benefits would even be enough to live on. Man, am I ever in trouble. I was told no... combining would not be enough, thus can you imagine what it's going to be like if I have to live off Social Security only?? Ain't never going to happen. Heads' up to all my relatives and friends: I just may be moving in. I know... you're tickled pink, right??

Regardless, all I can say is: this was a day of infamy, if you ask me. On the other hand, neither my brother nor my best girlfriend even lived long enough to become old, so maybe applying for Social Security isn't so bad, afterall. Besides, what I'm REALLY looking forward to?? APPLYING FOR MEDICARE!! Which I also hope will be around when I'm eligible, since that too, is kinda iffy.