Oh man… this so can’t be good. In a few minutes I’m headed out to the eye doctor. Not the one I was SUPPOSED to be going to, but instead, to a specialist. HUH?
Turns out my optometrist called to say… uh, sorry. Don’t come into see me. You have to go to a retina specialist, instead. I DO??? Yikes. I soooo smell trouble here. Apparently my retina is swollen… as in: WTF DOES THAT MEAN?? I’m doomed? I’m going blind? Even more importantly, I need eye surgery??
OMG… say it ain’t so. As much as I hate surgery, even MORE… I hate surgery when I can’t even close my eyes! I’m basically a freakin’ mess before I even leave the house.
I can’t even imagine what could be coming down the pike, here. Nor what the doctor is even going to tell me. Actually, he can cut right to the chase, leaving out all the details, if he wants. Just tell me this: 1.) is it going to hurt? 2.) am I going to able to see? 3.) am I going to be able to see FOR EVER? and once again 4.) is it going to hurt?? Having these questions in mind, I’m kinda checking out the clock as I sit here, so I can figure out exactly when would be the perfect time for me to down some meds before I even leave the house. I don’t mind telling you… I’m scared s^#*less. Consequently, I’m also a nervous wreck.
No wonder. Without working eyeballs, how will I ever be able to put on my make up to look like a million bucks? How will be I be able to watch hilarious movies? How will be I able to check out my entire wardrobe and see what nifty little outfit to wear for the day? How will I be able to do ANYthing?? Let alone how will I sew, do my nails, check out great looking hunks of men, drive my car or write this blog, even? This entire deal is like MAJOR CRAPOLA.
So, off I go to see what the hell is going on. I’m also off to go grab an Ativan. Talk about HERE GOES NOTHING. Oh yeah… Here’s looking at you, kid.
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