TWO WEEKS NOTICE

Ooops.. I had no clue I had only two weeks left. For eating store bought frosting, that is. I've been known to keep frosting for WAY longer than two weeks. Probably more than two months, even. Uh... according to the label... big mistake. So, get this. Last week, I was dying for some white cake. For DAYS my mouth was watering like crazy to eat some. And, I'm not talking pound cake kinda stuff, either. I mean like real birthday type white cake. So, finally I broke down, found a box of white cake mix in my pantry and MADE it myself. And frankly, it was pretty damn tasty, I must tell you. Then, of course came time for the main event... the icing. Which was really no big deal, given I like to keep containers of those cheezy brand name frostings as a staple in my house, exactly for times like these. Fudge Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, Deep Fudge, whatever. Thus, I was rarin' to go. Frosted white cake, chocolate icing and bingo. I'm in business.

Except, being the laziest woman on earth, I sort of went a renegade route. Get this... I didn't even FROST the cake. Instead, I decided to kinda frost as I go. As in... take a spoon full of frosting, add it to a bite size piece of cake... and boom. Let the two items co-mingle in my mouth! Can you even GET any lazier than that? But, trust me... it does the trick, perfectly well, one bite at a time. Besides, that way, the cake goes a much longer way, if you ask me. Anyway, for some reason, while I was happily munching along, I decided to read the label on the frosting container. EEEKS. Guess what? It says that upon opening, you should 1.) refrigerate the chocolate poison immediately after and THEN 2.) you should keep it for a maximum of 2 weeks. Huh?? Are they joking?? I keep it for MUCH longer than 2 weeks! Especially since that's what refrigeration is for, in the first place. Keeping food for months on ennnnnnnd. Well, at least for frosting, I'd think.

So... enter: dilemma. I should follow the label's instructions or merely make up my own instructions?? Guess what? I went with my own instructions. Of COURSE I'm keeping it longer than two weeks! What? Throw out perfectly fine icing just because the manufacturer TELLS me too?? Get out. No way I'm doing it. Besides, what happens when the chocolate attack hits me hard, late at night let's say, and I NEED a spoonfull of frosting even when I don't HAVE any cake?? I'll be pissed as hell if I had to say to myself: Oh yeah. Sorry. I threw it out because it was over two weeks old. Huh? I'D SHOOT MYSELF. No wonder. I definitely consider chocolate attacks as real time emergencies.

So, basically, I solved the dilemma before any emergency ever occurs. I'm proud to say, the opened frosting is sitting very well, on the top shelf of my refrigerator, as we speak. And am I glad it is! Hell... forget the two weeks' deal. I'm SO keeping it into the maybe 12 week range. And, I can promise you from past experience... IT WILL BE JUST FINE during that time frame. Believe me... I'm ready, willing and able to dine on crappy chocolate frosting at a moment's notice. No thanks to it's labels, I might add.