I'M FULL, THANKS

But Mia Farrow isn't. She's on a hunger strike. Hence, I've gotta imagine she's pretty damn starving at this point. Oh yeah... she looks like crap, too. I just don't GET why people are into hunger strikes. Man... there are people all over the world that would kill for what Mia might have stashed away in her side by side refrigerator. But... NO THANKS. I THINK I'LL STICK WITH MY DIET OF WATER, ONLY. For three weeks, mind you! Huh?? That even makes sense?? There aren't BETTER ways to hit home the plight of millions in Darfur? Besides, one of the problems Mia's trying to highlight is, get this: MALNUTRITION. What? Can't lick 'em, so join 'em?? Whoa. Now that's an interesting switcheroo. She's on day nine of this three week stint. I can't even imagine what she'll look like when it's all over. Plus... I've sorta gotta tell you. I have never yet been influenced for a cause due to a Hunger Strike. It's true. I hear of them of course, but it never makes me ponder more seriously, the issue. Rather, to me, it takes away from the issue. As in: making me think... WHAT?? IS THIS PERSON NUTS?? Starving?? That's the best way they can dream up help for humanitarian causes? Or ANY cause? I don't buy it. My guess is... they just might be trying to fit into an outfit for an upcoming event lickety split, thus... why not just kill two birds with one stone?? Look great (ahem) by being gaunt in three weeks AND then, concurrently grab some possible political attention. You can be mighty sure of one thing, I promise you. I'D NEVER go on a starvation diet! I can hardly hold out from meal to meal! Which is probably why right now, right smack next to me on my desk, is an opened bag of Fritos. Hey. What can I say?? Dinner is still about 3 hours away! Granted I should go on SOME kind of a diet... but starvation?? Are you kidding me?? I'd rather keep this unsightly chubby look ANY day than consider starving myself! Besides... denying myself was NEVER my strong suit. Which is why even I, can hardly stomach my birthday suit.