Today my lawn was cut and that normally makes me very happy. I love well manicured lawns. Today, I also had my hair cut, which normally makes me even happier. Unless of course, the stylist really F's up and then I'm pissed. But Angie would never F up, so basically, I should be feeling pretty much okay. But, I'm not.
The fact is: I am anything BUT okay.In fact, I'm devastated.
My best friend, Linda, died yesterday.
45 years of knowing her, loving her, talking to her, being with her, depending upon her and now, longing for her. There are simply no words in my vocabulary that tell you how I feel. My pain is just too deep.
I stopped crying for her about three days ago. Finally. It was then that, like a bolt of lightning from the sky, I realized I didn't need to cry any longer; it was as if I was preparing for when Linda would pass away.
I realized instead, that Linda was already gone.
And had been for the past three weeks. Thus, when I got the phone call yesterday, I didn't get hysterical. I didn't break down. Nor did I even cry. I had already come to terms with Linda dying several days earlier.
There is nothing more I can say. Other than: Linda, I shall miss you every day for the rest of my life. You were my favorite girlfriend. My closest girlfriend. And, my very best girlfriend.
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