FOOTSIES

I have a foot fetish, I suppose. I'm particular about shoes. But I'm way more particular about my feet. I like them to be well groomed. (I also like any man I may bed, to have his feet well groomed as well, but that's a whole different story) As it happens, I''m now sitting here at the computer with the bottom of my foot resting on a bag of frozen broccoli. The top of my foot is covered with a bag of frozen corn. Don't ask.

Last week, when getting ready to head to the airport, I loaded my suitcase into the car. However, not before the entire packed case landed across my entire right foot, with the metal wheel bar making the greatest impact. Uh... it hurt like hell, which meant of course, I cursed like hell. Anyway, within about 42 seconds my foot became mountain-like with swelling and turned my toes black and blue. I spent about 3 hours with a veggie ice packs on it, much like I'm doing now. Which reminds me... after three hours of staring at the thawing veggies, I decided to open them up and what else? Began eatting some!

Why am retelling this event? Because today, I was headed out to fun with my friends; I walked out the door and WHAM! The REALLY HEAVY old fashioned iron that sits on my wooden ironing board/patio table fell right smack onto my foot! AGAIN. My otherwise perfectly fine right foot is now once again killing me. And the fading black and blue toes? Uh... they're now darker than ever. Moral of the story? Diamond encrusted flip flops are not such a bad idea afterall.