POWER COUPLE

Now THIS is what I call a match made in heaven. Young. Stunning. Famous. And naturally, Filthy Rich. Not to mention... they will one day be ruling a rather large realm. SO up my alley!

I just can't believe it... I'm so screwed. Why?? Because I'll be LONG GONE when this fantastic power couple... William and Kate... will ascend the throne!! Talk about missing the event of the century! Oh man. How can God even DO this to me?? This lavish little party is going to be SOOO regal, so stunning, and so majestic that whammo.... it's guaranteed to be SOME spectacle, believe you me. Therefore, since I won't be around for the big event, I decided... what the hell. I'll create one of my own! Much tinier scale, true. But, lots of fun, regardless.

So last April I hosted a Pre Wedding Royal Luncheon.  WHAT A DAY. I was in my total glory, doing two of my most favorite things in life. 1.) Lunching at the Country Club and 2.) talking all about Royalty! Totally my cup of tea.

My guests kinda really got into all this, too. As in: Teddi came dressed looking EXACTLY like Queen Elizabeth II. Monica came looking EXACTLY like Camilla. I came dressed wearing my favorite tiara. Many others came decked out in their most appropriate hats, gloves, etc. And... uh... thankfully no one came dressed like Beatrice or Eugenie. What was WITH those two, by the way?? Have they NO mirrors whatsoever?? OMG... I'd soooo like to become their personal dresser. In no time at all, I'd have them looking spiffy as shit. As opposed to... merely LOOKing like shit. Whatever.  

In the meantime... my friends and I had our own little celebration and I've kinda got to tell you... I think the Royals might have been minor-ly impressed. Well, okay. They could give a damn, but WE certainly did.

I went the night before and did all the set ups and tablescapes, so we'd all know we were dining in royalty. I had deep regal purple silk rose petals strewn amongst the table settings. I had diamond studded gold cardboard crowns upon every plate. I had HUGE gem stoned rings for all the napkin holders and to top it all off, I had a long table for the big monarchy posters, showing: who was who, in their order of reign, and what monarch was married to what consort. Plus, I had hordes of Majesty magazines strewn all over the place, in case anyone decided this was so boring, they needed to sit in a corner and read all about the life of William from his birth to his college days. All in all... it was hard to miss the fact we were dining regally.

I loved giving my own little personal infomercial on all the crap I know about the Monarchs and was happy to answer questions. I know LOTS about LOTS about these folks but I do have to say... my favorite monarch is probably Queen Victoria. Am not sure exactly why, but I DO love the idea that because of all her kiddies having married OTHER royalty... boom. Next thing you know.. EVERY king, queen, prince or princess in Europe was pretty much directly related to Grammy Vicky. Talk about a family tree!!

I also love palaces, tremendous wealth, and definitely having servants around catering to my every want and need. Am not so crazy however, about all the freaks that come about from too much intermarriage. Case in point: Duke of Windsor. That's a whole other story, however. For now...

CONGRATULATIONS WILLIAM AND KATHERINE. Long live the King. Granted, I may not be with them for the actual crowning, given I'll be long gone, BUT believe you me, I'll surely be there in spirit. Uh... literally.