ENTRANCE EXAM

Will I or won't I... that's the question of the day. Get this... as we speak, my "sponsors" are filling out forms, in the hopes I'll be accepted for a country club membership. Can you imagine? THEY MIGHT REJECT ME!! Oh man... will I ever feel like an idiot. The THEY in all this, by the way, are the Board Members of the club, as well as the Membership Committee. To even GET to that point, you have to have three current members willing to sponsor and/or vouch for you. Uh oh. Oh yeah... I'm going strictly for the Social Membership, only. As in: dining room/party facilities. I don't play golf. I don't play tennis. And, God knows... I can't use the pool area, given that would require my wearing a bathing suit. SO never going to happen. BUT... I eat like a pro!

In the meantime... thank God I've never been arrested. Thank God I have pristine credit. Thank God they don't read this blog! EEEKS. That alone could do me in, right off the bat. I have to have my entire application in by Monday. I guess I'll be interviewed sometime before October and maybe by November, I'll be judged good enough to join all the others who've already passed the entrance exam to this place. Yikes. I almost feel like I'm going out for Rush Week. What I'm really freaked out about, other than the fancy schmancy folks who will vote on either my acceptance or rejection, is the interview process. OMG... left to my own accord, God only KNOWS what sort of replies may come out my mouth. Kinda like: HAVE YOU EVER INHALED?? To which I'd say... MEEEEE?? COME ON, NOW. SURELY YOU JEST. Afterall... sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. If you catch my drift. On the other hand, forget about my replies. What the hell could their QUESTIONS be, anyway?? I can't even imagine, but trust me.... I'll brush up on my Cliff Notes, but good. HI, MARY? THIS IS LINDA. OKAY, SO WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING TO BE ON THE INTERVIEW TEST? Oh man... this is sooooo like high school sororities. Which I might add, I got into 1-2-3. So, I guess I better cross my fingers and see if I'm allowed in. Lucky for me, I'm thinking the economy sucks so horribly right now, I'll bet the applications are WAY down. If not, I wonder if they have casting couches.