OCTAGONS

Is this lady CRAZY?? I swear to God... I'm as happy as the next person to appreciate help for those who can't conceive children via traditional methods... but... TO ADD 8 MORE TO A FAMILY OF ALREADY SIX OTHERS?? What the hell is this lady THINKING?

She should have spoken to me first, believe you me. I'd have set her straight right off the bat. Trust me... having three kids in one home was PLENTY for me! It's HARD raising children. It's PRICEY raising children. And, it's EXHAUSTING raising children. Not to mention the possibility of being driven, at any given moment in time, clear out of your ever F-ing mind. Granted, having kiddies in your life is a major blessing, but whoa. Give me a break here. To ME, starting out with six little ones is like running a 24/7 mini maternity ward. Add eight more to the mix... we're now talking PSYCHO WARD. So not my style.

Just moments ago I read that the first 6 children are feeling... uh... a bit sad. Oh yeah... and angry, too. Gee. What a surprise. And trust me... they're going to be feeling a lot worse, once this new brood arrives home. HUH? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? WHY SO MANY?? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, MOMMIE DEAREST? Better yet, WHERE WILL WE PUT THEM?? Did Octo Matriarch not even take into consideration the welfare of the first grouping?? Man... I so hate what she's done, here.

Which is why my best suggestion to her is: QUICK! Go build an octagonal house for your family of 14. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED EVER BIT OF THIS PERFECT LAYOUT, believe me. Well, according to the Linda School of Architecture, that is. Two kids in a room... one room for the Octo-Nut herself, and another room for the one other person she'll DEFinitely need, just to maintain any sense of sanity they might possibly find. Oh yeah... my prediction for the sanity level in this house?? Oh, I'd say... easily... about 4 minutes every 4th day. Maybe. How long you think it'll take to forget about octagons and starting thinking octoguns?

I remember well, when I was heading up a family. I always felt I never particularly wanted to be baby poor. Hence my one pregnancy. Well, I see Octo Nut could care less about this particular item. MONEY?? WHO NEEDS THAT?? DOESN'T THE LORD ALWAYS PROMISE TO PROVIDE? AND, IF NOT, THEN SURELY THE GOVERNMENT WILL. RIGHT??

Oh man.. this family is like off the charts, if you ask me. Anyway, I also always wanted to be sure I'd never have to spread myself too thin, so as to not be available for each kid's problems, joys, hassles, etc. Apparently, Octo couldn't care less about this litle facet, either. Man... I can't wait til all the play dates start kicking in. YIPPEE EVERYONE... TODAY'S IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE LUNCH FOR 35!

So, given the laundry loads, the food bills, the clothing needs, the carpooling schedules, the homework help, the medical problems, the quality times, the tight living quarters, the nurturing sessions, etc. etc. etc. two things come to mind for me. 1.) This lady is NEVER going to find a significant other. Who would even sign up for such a position? and 2.) This lady is COMPLETELY OUT OF HER OCTO-FRIGGIN' MIND.

Unless she's way ahead of the game and is actually way foxier than we all think. As in: she's planning on actually raising a TEAM. As in: 11 players for football and 6 for volleyball; with one as a substitute player and/or cheerleader. In THIS case, then maybe she IS onto something. Can you imagine?? Talk about the last laugh being on US! We, who of course, will have to ante up big bucks to go watch them all play.